“Are you there God? It’s me, Thatcher?”

His typing was worse than usual. It was always slow and sloppy but now the keys were sticking and glued with white Russian spilled earlier that morning. The old gypsy woman had been right when she’d cackled that he’d be dragged through the cheese grater. In the great scheme of things it really didn’t matter. There was more Kahlua on top of the fridge and the news from Old Dominion was unexpectedly promising. Somewhere between bad choices, good luck and Covid-19 many counties, including Nelson County were letting convicted felons go scot-free. Reckon they had bigger fish to fry and why not? Times were weird and there is no such thing as social justice in the land of the Watusi. Maybe next time tough guy. Like most thugs occasionally dancing on the dark side of the law, Thatcher knew there would always be a chance for a next time. Wise to make allies of common sense and adult caution from here on out. Nobody wants to throw out bail. That’s been proven.

There is a wind blowing out of the south and on it rides the promise of music festivals. Thatcher Owen Mullins was  frothing and ready to strap on his festicles. It might almost be time to turn the day job into the side hustle and get back into the minutiae of the thing. He longed for the full days of rabid fun and long nights without sleep. Welcome dear hearts to The Relative Importance of Sleep at a Festival.

Live Oak, FL-Thatcher and Moonshine Gary were the last men standing. It had been a brutal day of festival revelry packed dense with the hardest brand of loose fun but now everyone else was finally asleep and the fire was slowly going out. Campfire music could be heard coming from Slopprygrass, not too far down the road. Grabbing the guitar, the water jug filled with moonshine and two Natural Lights they stumbled toward the noise. The sun would be coming up soon.

The Relative Importance of Sleep at a Festival

It happens to every festivarian eventually. Morning arrives early, right in the middle of last night’s party. Where did the time go? Camp mates begin rolling out of their tents and sunrise fresheners return all bubbly, having enjoyed the last of the hot water. Folks start brewing coffee and coughing up morning music along with last night’s dirt and ashes. Did that meltdown really happen last night? Where to go from here? The choices are many and the road is rocky. Maybe a breakfast burrito and and a fat slab of Moose’s Washington mushroom caramel. Perchance a nip of Knob Creek and Yonder Mountain on the Field Stage at one. There really is no rest for the weary.

Thatcher knew in his heart of hearts there was no good time to sleep. There was no easy answer to the question. He simply had too much to see and do. Too much music. Too many people. Just the walking would constitute great amounts of time and miles. It’s one of the things that drives the festival. Twenty-four hours of straight up action-packed goodness. When his camp got quiet he knew someone, somewhere was still awake and getting all the way down. He wondered if it was better to have control over his sleep and utilize a rest strategy or just sit back and see where and when the bomb drops? Who could tell where the fall would happen? Maybe some kid’s hammock, a stranger’s tent or an Indian blanket during Oteil and Friends. It’s shameful but in the face of poor planning, weird things sometimes happen to good people. Even Oteil.

Music?

In terms of perspective and priorities, all of the other factors were never more than ancillary to the actual music on stage. This is a music festival dagnabbit. Depending on the festival, there can be shows running all night and day. Woo hoo! Thatcher was not about to miss the four am My Morning Jacket show. No sir. Saturday night with Cheese and Panic? Go on. Govt. Mule in the field, The Floozies at the back field stage, the Tipper 4:20 show and Greensky anywhere. It might be time for forget about cooking and go find an gyro. Some things are just non-negotiables.

Working/Volunteering?

In most normal cases the ability to manage real work responsibilities requires a modicum of rest. Campsite hijinks often fall flat in the potentially hectic work environment. By the time the supervisor asks, “Are you alright?” it may already be too late. You’ve already ran the golf cart into the saw palmettos and the toothpaste can’t go back in the tube. Those in and around your campsite might not understand the fact you will be parking cars in the sun for twelve hours the next day. When faced with these kinds of shenanigans, simply move your camp next door to the Sherrif’s annex trailer. No one will likely follow.

 

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Music Sessions

• Morning music: Sunrise bluegrass gospel with coffee, Tia Maria and a cup of salvation. Don’t worry, you didn’t die last night. It’s like walking into a Guatemalan bar, just start small and grow. Louvin Brothers and Taj Majal are a fine way to kick things off. Soapy is when it only takes a drink or two to catch you back up with last night’s party. That’s what you are. Soapy.
• Post-breakfast/midday: Maybe a little of whatever passes for sleep and the early morning moonshine hasn’t sunk in yet. This might be as good as it gets. John Prine, cajones and song books are allowed.
• Late night session: The picks have been lost. The tuners have been passed around. Musicians ease in and slide out. The circle stays fluid and the music never stops. How good is your memory? One verse and one chorus doth make a song. This is the part of the night when fiddle players start standing on one leg. Be wary. Both the harmony and the circle have gotten tighter. Welcome to the Experimentation Station. Sometimes that which the brain forgets, the fingers remember.

Baitbucket was getting older and increasingly held together by opiods and titanium. Like his sister he could sleep anywhere and anytime and there was usually a gravity storm looming somewhere on the distant horizon. He could crash in the middle of drum circle occasionally waking up in the wrong golf cart. The tent next to the fire must be able to sleep through the storm. –Sans Souci

Lucienda tried to sneak off around three in the morning but couldn’t rest amidst the constant jabbering. How she wished she’d taken those earplugs when they were offered. She knew he should have camped further away, back in the woods with the old people. Who knows? There was always a calamitous chance that some madman was going to pull up with an accordion, squat directly next to your tent, and eventually urinate on everything. The festival is not always the best place to catch up on rest. Wait a few days until everyone is gone then enjoy the solace that comes with the post-party and beyond.

Assistance

Coming back from the stage Thatcher found a small bag of something white and crystalline on the ground. Although universally considered an unsafe practice, he’d always thought of himself as a human test kit and this groundscore would be no different. Unsure of what it was he was entirely confident it would help keep him awake. Naturally he hoped it was cocaine. He was looking to hook up with a hippy girl later and a little blow never hurt. The plan would be to save it until late night when it could be helpful at Frick Frack Blackjack but it would always be gone by lunch.

Science?

It is a fact. The human body can go a few days without sleep but each day comes with a cost and It’s not long before things begin to go slightly sideways. The boatman says if you want to cross you must pay. The eyes once sparkling and clear finally darken and sink into a hazy murk.

At some point after days of abuse and little rest Thatcher literally turned into a zombie. His once healthy skin color had darkened to a mute grey and his red eyes stared out from behind black rings. No worries though. This was a good kind of zombie. He moved pretty slow and was only hunting for lighters. When his camp went dark he would hit the road and look for signs of lurking parties.

Where’s the Party?

He assumed that everyone attending the festival wanted to be his friend. His pit bull was excellent at sniffing out parties. They knew that tapestries were just for keeping out cops dressed like hippies. Normal people would always be welcome. To prove he wasn’t a cop dressed like a hippy, he would do some of their drugs. That should set their minds at rest. Or better yet, he would share some of his. A tested sure-fire way to make new friends.

When visiting a new camp, if he hadn’t been acknowledged after a few minutes he would start considering his exit strategy. Sometimes it’s just time to get. Conversely, if he was invited in and offered a shot of Jaegermiester that was a solid indication he’d turned to the right page. There are many signs when one is willing to read the landscape. (ed note. Boatright-Herring)

Thatcher knew that in the end it wouldn’t matter. All he could do was try his best. If he wasn’t taking care of himself he wouldn’t be able to take care of anyone else. Sound words from the criminally insane. No one can catch every show and find find every friend. But that’s the game and we are the players. “If you’re going to buy a ticket you might as well see the show.”  -C.W.

Keep up with the wranglers as we steer toward a new festival season, heading south to pick up the music trail. Might as well, might as well. The weather’s crappy everywhere else. As always, Florida’s spring nights are perfect for festivals and coming this way is Maddox Ranch Medicine Show, Fools Engagement and Suwannee is still working toward Spring Reunion. Check out the Florida State Bluegrass Festival April 9-10 in Perry and always keep looking forward to the summer and Floydfest. Visit their landing page for tickets, lineup and information. Thanks again for making the wook wranglers your festival signpost and be sure to check out some of our other articles including an adventure from the archives, High Country Journal: Trampled By Pickles.

Remember, throw Frisbees, not grenades.

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Are you prepared for the fray?

Everyone has a “solution” in mind. Some safety net that might exclude them from the bloated masses waiting in line to be sheared like so much Irish mutton. The days of working for one company for forty years and retiring to a fat pension are long gone. Life has turned into college basketball and woe is the unfortunate who toils with the heavy yoke for so many mango seasons only to slip on a puddle of cancer and get hit by a chicken bus, a mere month before retirement.

Some learn to go without. They live in vans down by the river or travel hither and yon, searching out the scene wherever it may lurk. They find ways to keep gas in the tank and biscuits in the belly. By its own right, this strategy takes plenty of work, persistence and innovation. Some clever individuals find a way to do it and there’s money to be made in the service of the scene.

The scene is what it’s all about and it takes an army to put on a good show. From paid employees and volunteers and woodland vendors selling pins out of their trunk, there are plenty of ways to add to the frivolity while keeping the money in the family. In most sense, the expenditures used at a festival, stay at the festival. Food and merchandise vendors, along with the folks on Shakedown Street offer a wide variety of options when it comes to spreading the cheddar around. Some are the legit vendors that pay for space and others are freelancers who work the forests and crowds. As a huge machine, it comes off smooth as a gravy sandwich. Most folks bring money to festivals with no intention of taking any of it home.

Many festivarians have found ways to attend the yearly schedule of events with an element of moderate subsistence. From Northwest String Summit to Lockn’, Suwannee to Floyd, some absolutely kill it. Who doesn’t remember the hard-working wooklings that wandered into the site with a box of homemade stealie patches and fractal stickers? It usually goes something like this;

“Hey guys, does anyone want to buy a sticker.”

“Fine, I’ll take two. Who wants a sticker?”

It’s all about the five dollar pin or the ten dollar poster, of which many end up as heady trades or groundscores for others. Maybe it’s trading morning egg biscuits for bloody Marys or sangrias for messages. Everyone ends up getting exactly what they want.

The Vision Quest

Attending a camping/music festival has become almost a rite of passage for the Millennial generation. There are currently more than 800 music festivals in the U.S. alone. Aggressive pricing, a sick lineup of top performers, diversity in music genres and social media buzz are all contributing to the huge swell in festivals

The rise of the collaborative economy has established that many people are beginning to value experiences much more than owning things, and that they care deeply about shareable, personalized experiences. Music festivals are a perfect example of everything they love. Friends, music, unique and curated experiences, a community of fans, a break from their hectic lives in the city, highly-shareable moments and contributing to lesser-known musicians and local economies. All of this in addition to a virtual portal of fun, when the right people are present. Plus, festivals have totally redefined how we experience music. Fans can enjoy multiple bands and artists in a few days, giving them a chance to truly explore new artists and genres.

Festivals aren’t a new phenomenon, they go back in history 3000 years originating from 10^th Century BC and beyond. In Ancient Greece it was common for these popular events to not only showcase music, but also include competitions in music, poetry, drama and athletics. The 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair in New York is often considered the first modern music festival where more than 150,000 tickets were sold; however, nearly half a million people arrived at the 600-acre farmland.

There are currently more than 800 music festivals in the U.S. alone. While some feature a specific genre, others span across a variety ranging from country to hip hop to electronic to alternative.

In the U.S. alone, 32 million people go to at least one music festival every year and 14.7 of those million fall into the “millennial” generation demonstrating the growing trend and “rite of passage” among today’s youth. Furthermore, on average people are traveling 903 miles to attend their festival of choice

Additional festival costs which may include merchandise, food and beverage. Festivals also help stimulate the local economy. Recently,  North American corporations spent $1.5 billion sponsoring music venues, festivals and tours, and the five biggest music festivals made a combined $183 million in ticket sales³ — and this doesn’t include revenue from merchandise, sponsorships, food and beverage sales. According to Forbes, in April of 2016, Coachella generated $704 million in overall spending activity by consumers and businesses and contributed an estimated $106 million to the local economy.

In the four years we have been covering music and arts festivals, there has been an increased overlap with other folks making their way through the jungle of “retirement” as they add their own spice to the gumbeaux of the festival. With the continued popularity and growth of music festivals around the world, the following businesses are helping to create the scene while paving the way for future entrepreneurs to enjoy the festy life.

Social media

During music festivals, fans flood their social media feeds with photos, videos and posts highlighting festival fashion, top performances and more. In just the first weekend of a recent festival, fans posted more than 3.5 million tweets. More than 1 millions tweets were sent during SXSW 2015. A 2014 Eventbrite study found that 75% of the social conversations about music festivals are created by fans in the 17-34 age group. The study also found that 23% of these posts were made by fans who weren’t even at the events but were watching remotely via live streams on YouTube, TV etc.

Look up ahead. Are those blinking lights along with the sounds of acoustic fusion guitar and chemical bluegrass? Keep up (if you can) with Katie Waffle and all of the Kamp Happiness tribe as you travel into the very vortex of the party season. Their wrap up of festival fun and music venues around Roanoke and beyond are a welcome diversion from the maelstrom of normal life. From Suwannee to Floyd and beyond, the Kamp Happiness libation installation should never be missed. Visit their social media sites on Facebook and Instagram.

Make good choices.

Next up is Jeff and Barry at RoadtripMojo. They are your guide to rockin’ RV, roadtrippin’ or festival camping experiences. From car camping to RV “glamping,” they’ve packed hella hacks and trusty tips about lodging, gear, tech, eats, venue reviews, and camping culture. No matter where the open road takes you, travel in comfort and style to parks, campgrounds, music & arts festivals, or just the journey itself.

Driven by veteran journalist and former Home Office Highway roadshow creator/host  Jeff Zbar and fellow RV & music festival aficionado, Barry Bluth, RoadtripMojo will elevate your experience in the festival fairgrounds and the great outdoors. Check them out on Facebook and Pinterest.

Visit Tony at rvboondocker.com and check out his nuggets of wisdom on RV travel and maintenance. Enjoy articles on emptying your black tank without moving your RV or the top 5 parks in Florida. We all need to understand better ways to deal with our brown and black water and rv boondocking is the wave of the future. Get on it yo.

Merch

MI kulture was founded in February 2015 by Josh Weberman and Jessica Ricksgers. They specialize in designing and producing custom lapel pins for ourselves and others. Due to creating and designing their own pins, and trading with other companies, they always have a wide variety of lapel pins available to choose from. Visit them on Facebook and Instagram. “May I speak with your manager?”

Lunar Wolf Visions specializes in spreading love and joy through artwork across the world. Their goal is to add and light and color where there is not!!! Visit their Facebook page for a sick selection of pins and prints.

Assorted Gibberish

In a sea of festival expenses The Complimentary Bar offers a little pro bono fun for all participants. Belly up to the bar with Heather and Krissy for free compliments any time of the day or night. Be wary, they are known to occasionally hurl insults at degenerates who try to get in on the complimentary fun. You’re taking your life in your own hands. Like their social media sites on Facebook and Instagram and look for them at your next festival.

Florida Fire Flow, where fire is what they do. A Hulaween staple, they use the love of martial arts and performing into a show that ignites the crowds. 15 years of martial arts, hand to hand combat and the study of a vast many weapons have all given them the necessary control to  perform in front of an audience of any size. Check out their Facebook page. 

At Rainbow Lightning they love to create interactive and collaborative environments for kids of All Ages, and their parents to connect and play with one another. By building community around new ideas and collaborative projects, Rainbow Lightning is designed to re-connect each individual with their inner child; reminding all who participate just how good it feels to let your true self shine! Visit their Facebook and Instagram pages.

Clothes and Such

Dimples Dyes has been creating vibrant, intricate patterns of Tie Dye Art since 2002. Visit the website or catch her at your next festival to find the current Tie Dye collection, all made with two hands, one at a time, with professional dyes and chemicals, and a whole lot of passion and drive! Dimples Dyes sources the finest quality blank apparel to put her tie dye work on, ensuring a long life of the fabric, so you may wear your favorite tie dye pieces over and over again for years to come!  Visit her on Facebook and Instagram.

It’s Lazlitto, the last broken soldier. The land of the free and the home of the brave. Don’t mess with Texas worm tumblers. Never one to serve his pie with breakfast, check out his quality embroidery shirts and hoodies at the Golden Road Goodies Facebook page.

A Bazaar Universe, where everything is upcycled! From the clothing we sell, to the hangers and racks, and even the tents we set up – Everything in A Bazaar Universe is recycled. We do not import or have anything manufactured from new materials. We carry a plethora of wearable art, handmade by Jade and Delia from recycled fabrics. We also sell Upcycled, Repurposed, Repaired, Gently Loved, and Vintage clothing and accessories for ALL shapes, sizes, and genders. Visit Jade on Facebook and Instagram.

Thanks to all our friends who help make the festivals a better experience for all.  It takes everyone to put on a good show. Support these business and look for others at your next party. Keep up with the wranglers as we head south to Everglades Roots Festival in January, Brainquility with Miah at Live Oak in February and Suwannee Spring Reunion in March. It’s so easy to fall in love. Can’t we all just have a good time? You bought a ticket, you might as well see for the show.

Sources:

¹ https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/music-festivals/6539009/music-festival-statistics-graphic
² https://www.forbes.com/sites/cheriehu/2016/11/27/what-the-top-50-global-music-festivals-reveal-about-todays-live-music-industry/#4b062051d99d
³ https://www.umbel.com/blog/entertainment/6-factors-driving-massive-growth-of-music-festivals/?cn-reloaded=1
⁴ https://www.eventbrite.com/blog/festival-trends-by-the-numbers-7-stats-to-know-ds00/
⁵ https://www.eventbrite.com/blog/social-media-at-festivals-ds00/
⁶ http://www.gore-tex.co.uk/blog/festival-facts/

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