“Well, the trail has been started and the initial adventures have been had, but the journey is still just starting at FestivalPark,” said John McBroom, FloydFest co-owner and CEO, and owner of FestivalPark. “We have listened to your advice and are implementing that valuable intel to continue developing our festival home. We hope you will notice and appreciate the touches our amazing team continues to curate, all the while helping us to continue to visualize all the new possibilities for this beautiful location. As the veils and curtains of ‘Aurora’ approach, we are excited to share our vision for next summer’s homecoming.”

The second round of lineup additions for FloydFest 25~Aurora is set for later this month, with more to follow over the next few months. All artists on the initial announce (and subsequent announces) can be discovered and explored via extensive bios, links and playlists here. “’Aurora’ symbolizes the beauty and mystery of nature,” said Jessica Taylor, FloydFest co-owner, CFO and VP of Operations. “We chose this theme to create a space for connection and awe, transporting patrons into an enchanting realm inspired by the northern skies through breathtaking art, performances and immersive experiences.” “As we emerged out of FloydFest 24~Horizon and reflected on the journey that led us to that milestone at FestivalPark, we found ourselves renewed, reenergized and reinspired to steward this festival, community and culture into the future, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do,” said Sam Calhoun, FloydFest co-owner and COO. “Arising from ‘Horizon,’ we now switch focus to ‘Aurora,’ visualizing its dynamic patterns of brilliance as metaphors for the FloydFest flow and family, defining the undefinable: our music, magic and mountains, our deep community of connection between our patrons and purposeful programming, and the indescribable beauty that can only be felt and understood in the moment on that mountain, together.”

Blue Cow Arts Foundation & Across-the-Way Productions released tickets — including Single-Day GA tickets & Single-Day Pair + Parking Bundles — for FloydFest 25~Aurora at noon ET on Friday, November 1, 2024, via the brand-new www.floydfest.com (and the festival’s new ticketing partner for 2025, See Tickets), as well as an initial sampling of the artist lineup that will descend on Floyd County, Va., July 23 to 27, 2025. Click here  for a direct link to tickets. Ticket prices will stay the same through Dec. 31, 2024, with price increases scheduled for Jan. 1, 2025, April 1, 2025, July 1, 2025, and for a final time at the gate. Info by ticket-type, as well as price tiers, can be viewed here.

New for 2025, Hotel Travel Packages are now available for FloydFest 25~Aurora, with accommodation options at the iconic & historic Hotel Roanoke (VIP) and the modern & plush SpringHill Suites Roanoke (GA). FloydFest Hotel Travel Packages are available paired with either (2) 5-Day GA tickets or (2) 5-Day VIP tickets for FloydFest 25~Aurora, and include a five-night hotel stay (and all associated hotel amenities), roundtrip shuttle transportation to and from the festival Wednesday through Sunday, plus (2) FloydFest Merchandise Bundles. A limited number of GA & VIP Hotel Travel Packages are available, so act fast to claim
this new boutique offering on FloydFest.com or https://tinyurl.com/FloydFest2025.

Also new for 2025, FloydFest now features an exclusive VIP parking & camping area for ‘Overland’ trucks/rigs/vehicles, located on the picturesque fence line at the top of VIP Parking. Each space is 20’x25’ and is designed for a vehicle + camping setup. This new ticket type is extremely limited; scroll to ‘VIP Overland Park & Camp Pass (20’x25’)’ under ‘VIP Tickets’ on the ticket page to purchase before they’re gone:

FloydFest.com is now fully updated for FloydFest 25~Aurora — visit the site to find:
• Brand-new and expanded FAQs: https://floydfest.com/floydfest-faqs/
• A Site Map, which will be regularly updated throughout the season: https://floydfest.com/site-map/
• The valued Partners of FloydFest 25~Aurora:
• The evolving lineup, artist information, playlists and links:
• Rules, a packing list and directions:
• Glamping info
• A Spotify playlist featuring artists from FloydFest 25~Aurora:
• Information on Festival Experiences (such as Outdoor Adventure, the Children’s Universe, and “Other Cool Stuff”), plus access to customer service, booking contacts, vendor info, volunteer info … and more!
As always, FloydFest will also include vibrant and varied vendors, quality craft brews and chews, healing arts, workshops and whimsy, camping and children’s activities, outdoor adventure, onsite art installations and a final lineup featuring almost 100 artists performing on seven+ stages over five days.

FloydFest is located at its new home, FestivalPark, located at 5826 Floyd Highway North in Check, Va. Find detailed directions, a packing list and rules by visiting https://floydfest.com/packing-list-rules-directions/. Updated FAQs can be found by visiting https://floydfest.com/floydfest-faqs/. Click to https://tinyurl.com/FloydFest2025 for a direct link to tickets. For more information, email info@floydfest.com. Stay informed via FloydFest’s newsletter at http://floydfest.com/newsletter/, and
find FloydFest on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Also, to sign-up for both our e-blast newsletters and Text Club, visit here.

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Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, this music and artisan camping festival has been host to the best in live entertainment for over twenty-years. The award-winning festival has been showcasing live art for folks in the shadow of the Appalachians with music, crafts and everything else in a primitive camping environment, or in some cases, downright primordial. Welcome to FloydFest Horizon “24: The Birth of FestivalPark. Thankfully, as warrior poets we are above petty comparisons and you’ll find no hubris here. Check your ego at the door.

Chanterelle was back in the proverbial pocket and everywhere she turned she ran into friends from Virginia and North Carolina. Getting all these people in one place is what FloydFest meant to her. Yes, things are quiet in your campsite because all your friends are out working. But have no fear. Headliners Joe Russo’s Almost Dead, Black Puma’s, Charlie Crockett and Sierra Ferrell showcased a stellar pack of live musicians along with The Wooten Brothers, Keller Williams, Sexbruise?, The Heavy Heavy, Maggie Rose, Leftover Salmon, Circles Around the Sun, Neighbor, EGGY, Town Mountain, WAR CHILE, Caitlyn Krisco, the Dead Reckoning and so many more. It was a weekend of brutally good, nonstop live music, frivolity and silly fun. Welcome home bad boy. This is FloydFest Horizon “24: The Birth of FestivalPark.                             Music. Magic. Mountains.

FestivalPark the new site for FloydFest, is located in Check, VA, between Roanoke and Floyd. The winding road from the 828 rolls through some of the prettiest mountain vistas anywhere. From Bristol through Galax and on to Shawsvegas, it’s impossible not to be humbled by the significance of these mountains as one of the cradles of American folk music. The site boasts several hills surrounding a scenic hollow with a small creek running through. Celebrating 20-plus years of bringing the artistry of live music info full focus via the art of the festival, Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Productions have developed the new property to ready to welcome its first festival patrons. FloydFest is home and in it, a place where everyone can contribute and help the site grow and change. Professional wooks and stewards of the forest, from withers to brisket.

Chanterelle was roped in with Kamp Happiness and the wranglers media team with Four Day, Bfly and Leaux Leaux. She was making the walk uphill to VIP camping for the second time that day when she realized she had the Jello legs and her lower body was out of FloydFest practice. By the Sierra Ferrell set and a million steps later, her butt muscles had began to form and tighten. Relax fellas, the line forms to the right.

There was a time long ago, forgotten in the pages of history, when the wranglers had to invent colorful FloydFest tales just to fill the coffers. That time has thankfully passed and things are predictably more colorful each year. No need for hyperbole. Festival royalty, JBfly hit the ground running Wednesday night and forget what you know about the subtle crescendo, this is nary the slight slant of an infinity pool but rather the Blue Hole that goes straight down. It’s a new venue and occasional confusion is going to be common.

Expecting to be lodged in a Prevost X3-45 VIP Entertainer at worst, Chanterelle and rest of the wranglers media team hadn’t brought much camping or survival gear. Four-Day brought a canopy for Kamp Happiness which seemed reasonable as long as it didn’t rain. They made camp with the other media personnel near the creek, low-profile and close to everything. As usual, Bfly’s tent was constantly sliding off the mountain and there were few places to store her sundries and unmentionables.

Chanterelle wasn’t late for work at the VIP Lounge but she was doing her best. She’d walked up the mountain to the box office to be told the VIP check-in was at the other end of the park. She tried to get a ride from an obvious derelict on a golf cart, but one look at his sweat rings and mouth spittle and she was immediately convinced to walk the entire length of the park. And why not, if she was going to be coming to this place the rest of her life, she might as well get acquainted. At some point she realized she was blocked from the road and had to hop the fence and traverse the tall grassy area. She’d heard it was a protected space and not to be invaded, but she was a master naturalist and wetland preserves were one of her research specialties. Of course she’d heard stories of Stomp 76 and how those hippies really “used” the creek and few in attendance were prepared for those unusual types of waste management opportunities. Hail Charlie who came through in the clutch, pointing out the location of the VIP lounge. For everyone, ignorance was slowly blossoming into quasi-educated and moderately knowledgeable ambassadors. Be sure to watch out for the Pegans.

Devil’s Backbone Brewing Company Higher Ground Viewing Deck and Stage: Leaux Leaux knew she was going to spend many a set at this viewing platform. Having seen early photographs of the structure, she’d figured it was going to be the stage but now she could understand how this was just the viewing platform and the stage would be some mammoth structure to be built at a later day. This was all part of a grander work in progress. Merely the acorn that would become the oak.

Chanterelle had created a new hierarchy for her spectrum of friendship. Without the aid of a golf cart she noticed, over time, that she was repeatedly visiting camps close to her own elevation on the mountain profile. It was a gentle walk through the Hobbit village near Creekside Camping and around the way to Artist Camping. Once a night they would venture up the mountain to Canopy Camping and sniff out the jam circles lurking in the forest. Sunday night in front of the Depot showed the most promise for the future. That area was allowed to serve as a commons that remained lit and occupied for most of the night. It was a good place for musicians and listeners to collaborate and celebrate. Good idea. In the future, quiet campers should avoid that area if at all possible.

Leaux Leaux was the French girl who loved Billy Joel. She was traveling with her mother and when they got together, their vibrations merged into one harmonic cackle. The night before thought she’d seen a mole hole, or maybe a vole hole. She wasn’t even sure if voles lived in Virginia but this was definitely some type of ambiguous, burrowed space and she’d put her tent directly on top of it. No big deal at the time but later? Nightmare fuel. It would have been better if it had just been a dream. Hopefully it was. The mole nibbling at her underarm as she slept was hopefully a dream. The perfect hole in the tent, just above the one in the ground was not. It reminded her of the beach in Tulum and a certain crab that would occasionally check to see if she was still alive.

Floyd Country Store Workshop Porch Stage: Four-Day swung by the merchandise room just in time to witness the future of FloydFest. A slough of school-age children played gospel bluegrass on the Porch Stage. One in particular reminded him of Shane Turner as she played like a flamingo, perched on one foot. It was an easy way to tell if one was dealing with a crazy fiddle player.

Check out these offerings from visionary photographer, Cloud Bobby. Visit his Facebook page and witness the spectacle of the festival through his eyes. Also, one of the sweetest guys on campus.

She’d lost Imad sometime during the night and while searching for him she found Jeff and Crystal behind the stage eating some kind of vegan wrap. They steered her to Jeremy and Avery camped across from the VIP lounge. Their neighbor had a coconut filled with 100 proof Puerto Rican rum. Chanterelle wasn’t sure how it was different from an incendiary. Just add a wick and you’ve got a Puerto Rican coconut bomb which sounded like something a pirate might use. By the time she’d gotten back from exploring, they’d already finished the rum. Maybe it was easier to create than destroy.

Creekside Camping: She seemed serious enough as she leaned in. “Here. Want some mushroom juice?” He opened his mouth and the viscous fluid hit the back of his throat with such a force, splatter shot back out of his gaping maw. “What did you just do to me?” Goodnight sweet prince. Just lie back and let it happen. Hide in your tent until the Leftover Salmon set.

Bitchin’ Sauce VIP Stage: Wednesday showcased Kamp Happiness favorites Sexbruise? at the VIP stage. The team was blessed with a photo pit pass for the first time, eliminating the need for another emotional face-off in the pit.

Family cast asunder by the unfamiliar terrain. The Asheville annex had moved in to Creekside Camping, Kamp Happiness West moved into Artist Camping and the rest of the thugs were scattered throughout Canopy Camping. Higgly-piggly to be sure. In the words of Buddha, “the only constant is change”.

Of course you got lost. You were supposed to get lost. It’s your first rodeo. Bfly got so lost Wednesday night, she imagined she might not find the vehicle by Mexican Monday. Charlie took his shift, Sexy Baby helped out until near sunrise. It takes a village and some who wander are completely lost.

Chanterelle was being a bit persnickety by the time she got to work. As usual it was Brett’s fault. He and a wild-eyed Afghani had picked her up behind VIP stage and instead of taking her up the hill to work, he gave her a lift the wrong way. Along the way he explained that more serotonin was released into the brain from cold water than from face drugs. While that didn’t make complete sense, he was sure he’d never met an ice immersion whore.

Canopy Camping: Big Betty ended up spending most of her time between the admin building and the box office. Somewhere in there was JBone and his crossroads jam. She stayed till 3am the first night and sunrise the next night as things began to look and feel like FloydFest. She hooked up with Mr. Beautiful and dragging the mandolin and bull fiddle, the two of them took off in search of adventure in the morning twilight. It’s good policy to keep moving at this time of the day lest you want your megaphone slung in the lake. #truth

Relax everyone, it’s ok to sleep in your car. Do they have vagrancy laws in this county? The officer said, “No worries. I’m just going to search your car and as long as you don’t have anything illegal, you should be good to go.” Famous last words. Next stop, a pod with seventy-four other thugs watching Cops. By day three, Four Day and Bfly were sharing a toothbrush. Chanterelle wasn’t claiming to be the world’s best busboy but one never really forgets. She was reminded of Lightnin’ Steve Little, before he was the face of the wranglers, when asked what his favorite festival job was, he simply stated, “Whatever. I don’t care as long as I’m at the show.” He remembered the two  of them setting up the parking lines in D Lot, dancing in the morning glories, shirtless and unafraid.

During The Jared Stout Band, Chanterelle ran into Betsy coming from behind the VIP stage. She was pilfering two large cans of sweet-heat peanuts. Sexy Baby and Rachel, the wranglers Christmas Jam media team showed up for both WAR CHILE shows. Sexy baby showed up chewing on a mushroom stem that resembled a chicken bone as if he’d just walked from behind a Bohangles dumpster. “Ooh, there’s one with some meat on it.”

Lucienda had made it her life’s mission to strive to break down the societal barriers between the VIPness and the proletariat. For this festival, wrangler research and development produced original wrangler VIPness laminates in the hopes of saturating the  lanyard/laminate pool. In addition to the late-night, renegade fun, these bits of festival flair not only signify like-minded thugs, but when folded hot dog style can be useful when collecting Detroit dry wall. Several “operatives” found themselves on the greener side of the VIPness fence all thanks to the new credentials. “Sir, your laminate is not on the sign.” “Yes, obviously it’s not on the sign. It’s on the updated sign.”

Chanterelle lost her peach moon rocks during ingress but they still had some 828 and some kush cake leftover from Michigan. During her first shift her betters gave her three hours off in the middle of the day. Do what you want but this is FloydFest. She knew if she went wandering it was very possible she would eventually get into some shenanigans with like-minded folks.

Four Day recalled the story of the abusive boyfriend whose job on the horse farm included epididymal sperm harvesting. Apparently there is no shelf life on revenge.

They stood next to each other at the VIP showers. One wore a t-shirt that read, “Lebowski 24, This aggression will not stand.” and the other wore a Claypool/Strings 24. They ultimately agreed it was unwise to get political at the festival but in the end, it was good and fair that both parties were represented.

Mama Jill told the story that the story of how the groupie eventually becomes the groadie, part groupie part roadie. Still giving up the booty but at some point, carrying amps. “For somebody that has absolutely no idea what’s going on you sure do have plenty of opinions.”

Delta Lot Memories. There was a report of Wilbur eating Mike helms bottom teeth and showing off the prettiest dog smile you ever did see. Some people are just not cut out to live onsite.

Please don’t fuck the vibe. Chanterelle said, Ben shot back, “To be honest, I cannot make that promise. I’m very attracted to the vibe.”

At some point behind VIP, Chanterelle noticed Tyler and Bertha parked in Artist Camping. Having found earlier success cutting across the protected ditch she thought she’d try it again. Two steps in she realized she’d make an grave error as she sunk, waist deep, down into the Vietnamese ditch water. It would be the last lesson she’d require and from then forward she would gladly take the long way around. Before she’d been dealing with ticks and now she could add leeches to her wildlife bingo card.

Go for Sam.

Big Betty drug herself up the mountain in hopes of finding a pickin’ circle somewhere near the crossroads. They found Jeremiah there sucking on his harmonica. They’d been Delta Lot neighbors during his first FloydFest, too long ago to remember. She met up with Mr. Beautiful and his mandolin just out looking for trouble. Never forget, at it’s core, FloydFest is a pickin’ festival. Don’t forget, capos are mandatory in Virginia. Why play in G when A flat is available?

Lucy woke up with a tick dug into her skull. She tried using a grapefruit spoon to dig the proboscis out of her fontanel. She was trying to stay ahead of the rash. No one would allow her to blame her bad behavior on Bell’s Paulsy. With her luck, it was a Lone Star and the Alpha-gal would cut her off from any more of Crystal’s jello shots. With a large cavity in her scalp, she was reminded of what the Roanoke witches chanted when they burned a tick. “The power of Christ compels you!” Nichole screamed that you couldn’t flick a tick of one’s back to which he calmly reminded her it could be done in transit.

Who would know where to go? Would Sexy Baby sleep all day without Big Betty to roust him up? Important questions for important people. Welcome to the thirteenth floor, Research and Development.

Canopy Grovestage: Kamp Happiness West popped up in Artist Camping along with the WAR CHILE crowd. Shirtless drummers and mountain folk sleeping in tree hammocks. When Craig County folks are around, you can just feel a different tingle in the wind.

This was everyone’s introduction to FestivalPark and continued imagination will be the driving force in its growth because here, in this secluded hollow in the hills, anything is possible. There was still a mountain of lingering questions that hadn’t yet been answered but in the end, some mysteries are best left unsolved.

Monday morning Bfly packed up in the rain. They would forgo their usual late checkout and head for the nearest Mexican restaurant. Her feet were bruised from a weekend of bouldering and what must have been poison ivy. Chanterelle had also been up all night, following Big Betty from jam to jam, eating the rest of Imad’s lost Sunshine Daydream. Her adventures took her to the Depot which apparently had no “quiet hours” allowing the family jam to stumble through forgotten lyrics until sunrise. Look for Kamp Happiness somewhere hear these crossroads next year.

Thanks to FloydFest for, once again keeping the wranglers in the fold. Their operation is one of the classiest in the business. Visit their website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X YouTube, Spotify, and TikTok. And while you’re lost in the warren of the etherweb, stop by some of the wook wranglers social media platforms. The future is nigh. Are you not influenced?

Somewhat surprised, Chanterelle had survived the gauntlet. Small dog was still in effect. Follow her and the rest of the team as they gear up for what hopes to be a “sporting” October in Live Oak, Florida with Suwannee Roots Revival and Hulaween.

#music #magic #mountains

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Emmylou Harris, a 2018 Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award winner and member of the Country Music Hall of Fame, will bring her band to headline the 14th annual Rooster Walk Music & Arts Festival. Joining her at the top of the band lineup will be celebrated guitarist Cory Wong, an exploding star on the international music scene.

Harris has been estimated to have sold more than 15 million records worldwide. She has also earned 13 Grammy Awards and placed 27 singles into the top 10 US country chart. She will make her Rooster Walk debut with a Saturday evening set at the festival, which will take place May 23-26, 2024 at Pop’s Farm in Martinsville, Va.

Wong will also make his RW debut when his band performs a Friday night headlining set. A former member of Vulfpeck, Wong’s live shows are lauded for their instrumental wizardry, incredible cohesiveness and their sheer, energetic fun.

Other bands getting added to the lineup include: Couch (Boston, Mass. – funk/rock/soul); Catilin Krisko & The Broadcast (Asheville, N.C. – rock); Arkansauce (progressive bluegrass from northwest Arkansas); Sneezy (high-energy party music from Chicago, Ill.); Sticks N Thorns (bluegrass duo featuring Andy Thorn of Leftover Salmon and Jon Stickley); Travis Book & Friends (Asheville, N.C., Americana/rock band led by The Infamous Stringdusters’ Travis Book); The Jared Stout Band (southern rock from the New River Valley of Virginia); T.C. Carter Band (blues from Martinsville, Va.); Lua Flora (Asheville, N.C. – beach folk); Big Fat Gap (Chapel Hill, N.C. – bluegrass); Jules & The Agreeables (Key West, Fla. – rock); DJ What (Martinsville, Va. – DJ); and Pirates of the Piedmont (Martinsville, Va. – pirate shanties).

Bands that had been previously announced to the RW14 lineup were: Broke Mountain Bluegrass Band

(Colorado supergroup featuring members of Greensky Bluegrass, Leftover Salmon, the Infamous Stringdusters, Jon Stickley Trio and more); Daniel Donato’s Cosmic Country (Nashville, Tenn., jam twang); TAUK Moore (funk collaboration between Doom Flamingo’s Kanika Moore and TAUK);  Dogs in a Pile (a New Jersey-based funk/jazz/rock jamband); Yarn (NC/NY roots rockers who will once again perform an original set and a festival-finishing tribute set); The Mountain Grass Unit (up-and-coming bluegrass shredders from Alabama); Isaac Hadden Organ Trio (masterful musicianship from a North Carolina power trio); Sol Driven Train (upbeat, horn-driven rock’n’roll beach vibes from Charleston, SC); J & The Causeways (New Orleans-based soul powerhouse reminiscent of St. Paul & The Broken Bones); Colby T. Helms & The Virginia Creepers (bluegrass from nearby Franklin County, Va.); Clay Street Unit (Colorado-based honky tonk/roots rock); and Mighty Joshua (authentic reggae from central Virginia).

The final batch of RW14 band additions will be announced by February 2024.

Tickets for Rooster Walk 14 are now on sale at www.roosterwalk.com, which also features all the information needed to plan for an amazing experience. 

The festival will take place Thursday-Sunday of Memorial Day weekend in the rolling foothills surrounding Martinsville, Va. Rooster Walk is a 4-day festival celebrating music, art, and the great outdoors at the idyllic Pop’s Farm venue. With 40+ bands performing on 6 different stages, an amazing roster of stellar music steers the Rooster Walk experience. 

In addition to approximately 80 sets of live music, the family-friendly Rooster Walk will offer a wide variety of kids’ programming, family fun, craft beer, great food, arts and numerous opportunities to enjoy Virginia’s great outdoors with kayak river floats, pedal boats, bike rides, yoga, a disc golf course and beautiful on-site camping.

Rooster Walk has been named one of the Top 5 festivals in the state by the Richmond-Times Dispatch. It also was voted the region’s Most Creative Charitable Event by readers of Virginia Living Magazine for three consecutive years. The festival was created in memory of late Martinsville natives Edwin “The Rooster” Penn and Walker Shank, who graduated from Martinsville High School in 2000.

A portion of proceeds from the festival will be donated to local and regional charities, including Rooster Walk’s own Penn-Shank Memorial Endowment Scholarship Fund for students at Martinsville High School, and the Rooster Walk Music Instrument Program for public band programs in the local city and county school systems.

The festival is produced by Rooster Walk Inc., a 501c3 nonprofit dedicated to promoting music, arts and education in its home of Martinsville-Henry County. Since 2009, Rooster Walk Inc. has donated more than $320,000 to local and regional charities.

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SIXTH ROUND of artist additions for FloydFest 24~Horizon, the ‘Local Love’ lineup: Addie Levy • Annalyse Marie • Appalachian Space Train • Blue Mule • Chad Nickell & The Loose Change • Cinémathèque • GOTE • The Hillside Chaotics • Isaac Hadden Project • Leonard Blush & the Camelcals • Phat Anchovies • Pumphouse Blues • Sugarbush • War Chile …

Announcing the FIFTH ROUND of lineup additions: Grace Bowers … plus the FloydFest 24~Horizon On-the-Rise Competition Class of 2024 (sponsored by Peluso Microphone Lab, Press Press Merch, White Claw Hard Seltzer): Boa Boys • Coral Moons • Drew Foust & The Wheelhouse • Happy Landing • Houseplant • Mackenzie Roark and The Hotpants • Ranford Almond • Swim in the Wild • The Plate Scrapers • Virginia Man • Wood & Bone • Wyatt Ellis …

These new acts join the bands featured in Nov. 1’s initial artist announcement for FloydFest 24~Horizon, which included one of four headliners, West Virginia’s spellbinding, meteoric-talent Sierra Ferrell, who will play pinnacle to a main-stage female- focused Friday during the 2024 festival. The initial artist announcement also introduced Sierra Hull, Circles Around the Sun, The Heavy Heavy, Maggie Rose, Orgõne, Sons of the East, The Hip Abduction, Town Mountain, Cat Clyde, The Vegabonds, Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast, Joe Hertler & The Rainbow Seekers, Sexbruise?, The Wilson Springs Hotel, plus FloydFest
22~Heartbeat On-the-Rise winner, Palmyra, and runner-up, The Jared Stout Band.

The THIRD round of lineup additions for FloydFest 24~Horizon is set for December, with more to follow over the next few months. All artists on the first two announcements can be discovered, explored and devoured via extensive bios, links and playlists by visiting here.
FloydFest’s myriad awards from the past year-plus are also highlighted in today’s announcement:
• “Best Music Festival” — Blue Ridge Outdoors’ 2023 ‘Best of the Blue Ridge’
• No. 2 “Best Music Festival in the USA” — USA Today’s ‘10Best’
• “Best Music Festival 2023” — Virginia Living’s ‘Best of Virginia’
• “Best Music Festival – GOLD” — Blue Ridge Country’s ‘Best of the Mountains’ Reader Poll
• “Outstanding Festival of the Year” — Southwest Virginia Tourism Awards
• “Best Outdoor Event – GOLD” — The Roanoker’s ‘Best of Outdoors’ Reader Poll
Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Productions released tickets for FloydFest 24~Horizon last week, via the brand-new www.floydfest.com, in tandem with an initial sampling of the artist lineup that will descend on Floyd County, Va., July 24 to 28, 2024. Many ticket types are now sold out, but tickets do remain and can be purchased by clicking to https://aftontickets.com/FloydFest24Horizon. Ticket prices will stay the same through Dec. 31, 2023, and, if any remain, the first price increase will take place on Jan. 1, 2024.
FloydFest.com is fully updated for FloydFest 24~Horizon — visit the site to find:
• Brand-new and expanded FAQs, including info by ticket type and pricing tiers.
• A brand-new Site Map, which will be regularly updated throughout the season.

• Today’s official e-blast newsletter.
• The valued Partners of FloydFest 24~Horizon.
• The evolving lineup, artist information, playlists and links.

• Rules, a packing list and directions:
• Glamping info
• Area lodging info
• A Spotify playlist featuring artists from FloydFest 24~Horizon:
• Spotify playlists spotlighting past FloydFest lineups:
• Brand-new merch for FloydFest 24~Horizon (and prior).
• A listing of past lineups:
• Information on Festival Experiences (such as Outdoor Adventure and the Children’s Universe), plus access to customer service, booking contacts, vendor info, volunteer info … and more!
Having debuted at FloydFest 19~Voyage Home (2019), and then flourishing during FloydFest 21~Odyssey (2021) and FloydFest 22~Heartbeat (2022), the FloydFest Bus Stop — a psychedelic-painted school bus that has been converted into a professional recording studio — is set to return for FloydFest 24~Horizon, after receiving national press for its distinctive content and unique presentation. Click to here to immerse yourself in FloydFest Bus Stop performances from 2019, 2021 and 2022, as well as to discover how to keep the bus rolling by purchasing handmade vinyl records via a unique fundraiser: https://floydfestbusstop.com/vinyl/.

As always, FloydFest will also include vibrant and varied vendors, quality craft brews and chews, healing arts, workshops and whimsy, camping and children's activities, outdoor adventure, onsite art installations and a final lineup featuring almost 100 artists performing on seven+ stages over five days.
FloydFest is located at its new home, FestivalPark, located at 5826 Floyd Highway North in Check, Va. Find detailed directions, a packing list and rules by visiting here. Extensive, detailed and updated FAQs can be found here. visiting . Click for a direct link to tickets.

For more information, call (888) VA-FESTS or email info@floydfest.com. Stay informed via FloydFest’s newsletter, and find FloydFest on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (). Patrons can also opt-in for the FloydFest Text Club by texting “FloydFest” to 540-215-2002 on their mobile device.

namaste y’all.

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The Major Malfunktion Music and Artisan Festival will be held on Oct 6th-8th, 2023 at the Mountain Valley Artisan Barn in Axton, Virginia. There will be 16 bands, 3 DJs and acoustic support between sets. Ticket price includes camping, parking, two free meals and a Saturday happy hour.

Artists include The Kind Thieves, Sexbruise?, Dr. Bacon, Kentucky Ruckus, War Chile, The Mighty Good Times, Dock Street Pocket, Road Soda, Charissa Joy and the High Frequency, The Sweet Life, Liv Sloan and the Die Hards, Matt Red Moore Band, The Sweet Life, Atlantic Aesthetic, Dr. Psilicon, ‘Goo Balls’, Spliff Business, Ravida and Asstetic, Jake Retting & G, Amber Collier, Kamp Happiness Family Band, and more.

Kamp Happiness Takeover. Find your way to the Hobo Kamp renegade set for a heaping pot of campfire music, arts and crafts, body painting, face glitter, experimental drugs and medicinal leeches. All included with the price of admission. Stay late for the Circle K? trading post and interactive demensional scavenger hunt. Won’t that be fun. Turn that frown upside down.

Kentucky Ruckus and Friends Sunday staff party will be $5 at the door for all patrons. Their sound is founded on their genetic and musical inseparability catapulted by the raw energy and pure rowdiness of their live performance. Don’t sleep on this one.

Mountain Valley Artisan Barn is located at 1215 Collins Road, Axton, VA, United States, Virginia Tickets can be found here and weekend passes are available as well. Children under twelve are free.

The Bacon and the Bruise in the same show? Well just take my pesos. More fun than a frog in a glass of milk. The Sunday ‘Goo Balls’ set will also be their debut show so don’t miss out. Get ready for plenty of artists, vending and food for everyone.  

Non-negiables for this year’s Malfunktion menu:

For goodness’ sake don’t miss…

• Lucienda Rosalita’s homemade and unfinished poke and stick Tattooz Parlour
• Four-day Old Brie’s infamous Tassel Spectacular
• Drunkle Cleophus’ megaphone sponsored sunrise sermon
• The Rusty Nail chemical toilet human test kit
• “Homeless Person or Stagehand” The Game
• Baby Shawn’s leftover frozen food from Dollar Tree stone soup, buffet/trough
• Boston’s Interracial Cream Pie Struggle Puddle
• Anus Recharging Station
• Kamp Happiness Family Jam at the Malfunktion Junktion
• Virginia Dry Wall Scavenger Hunt
• and so much more…

Just two weeks after Major Malfunktion, the mother ship of all Florida hippy parties, Hulaween lands on the face of your face in Live Oak. Join the Kamp Happiness adventure as they make every effort to simultaneously offend and be offended. Keep up with the wranglers as we head north to Elements Music and Arts Festival and Secret Dreams. ooh la la.

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A full headliner announcement paired with a brand-new location top Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Production’s November 1 announcement of FloydFest 23~Forever, the latest annual offering of the Southeast’s premier summer outdoor music festival, taking place Wednesday to Sunday, July 26 to 30, 2023, at its new home, dubbed “FestivalPark,” located at 5826 Floyd Highway North in Check, Va.

Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Productions celebrate more than two decades of bringing the artistry of live music into full focus via the art of the festival with the announcement, which features a listing of arguably the most powerful headliners in the festival’s history. Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Productions added five more bands on Thursday to its emerging lineup for FloydFest 23~Forever, the latest annual offering of the Southeast’s premier summer outdoor music festival, taking place Wednesday to Sunday, July 26 to 30, 2023, at its new home, dubbed “FestivalPark,” located at 5826 Floyd Highway North in Check, Va. In addition to lineup additions, Blue Cow Arts & Across-the-Way Productions also announced CashorTrade as the official ticket exchange for FloydFest 23~Forever, the first-ever line of FestivalPark merch and detailed information on the FloydFest Bus Stop Special-Edition Vinyl Fundraiser. Announced today are Colorado’s newgrass legends Leftover Salmon; the psychedelic-plus-traditional-bluegrass marriage of KellerGrass ft. The Hillbenders; the vocal powerhouse paired with psychedelic-soul of Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast; the gospel pipes, acoustic-rock and heart-felt lyricism of J.R. Carroll; and the antics, energy and phenomenon that is Sexbruise? These new acts will support extraordinary headlining performances from the world-famous legendary rock visionaries, The Black Crowes, My Morning Jacket, Sheryl Crow and Goose, as well as an incredibly strong class of additional acts: Elle King, Yelawolf and Shooter Jennings Present: Sometimes Y, Ripe, Shane Smith & The Saints, Atlin Gün, Nikki Lane, The Hip Abduction, Ian Noe, Neighbor, Eggy,  The Wilder Blue, Maggie Rose, Circles Around The Sun, Town Mountain, Tanner Usrey, Pony Bradshaw, Grady Spencer & the Work, Joe Hertler & The Rainbow Seekers, Little Stranger, Into The Fog, The Wilson Springs Hotel. plus FloydFest 22~Heartbeat On-the-Rise winner, Palmyra, and runner-up, The Jared Stout Band. The third round of lineup additions for FloydFest 23~Forever is set for Thursday, Dec. 1, 2022, with more to follow.

“For this year’s program, I wanted to ensure that the quality FloydFest is known for remains true and endearing to the thousands who flock to our unforgettable experience on the mountain,” said Kris Hodges, FloydFest producer and founder. “By bringing in some of the nation’s best rock, country, jam and Americana artists, FloydFest continues to be ‘Forever’ making strides in the industry … and beyond. Our new location and next level experience will be sure to tantalize all senses and awaken the spirit in all who attend.”
Blue Cow Arts and Across-the-Way Productions released tickets for FloydFest 23~Forever at noon ET on Monday, Nov. 1, 2022, via its brand-new www.floydfest.com, as well as a hefty sampling of the artist lineup that will descend on Floyd County, Va., July 26 to 30, 2023.  A direct link to tickets is only a click away. Ticket prices will stay the same through Dec. 31, 2022, with the first price increase — in tandem with the release of single-day GA tickets — scheduled for Jan. 1, 2023. Subsequently, ticket prices will increase again on April 1, 2023, again on July 1, 2023, and for the final time when gates open for the festival on July 26, 2023, if tickets remain. The second round of lineup additions for FloydFest 23~Forever is set for Tuesday, Nov. 15, 2022, with more to follow over the next six or more months.
“Welcome to our new home and thanks for continuing the ride,” said John McBroom, FloydFest co-owner and CEO. “FloydFest is the people, and the new setting will bring us closer. See y’all in Floyd in July.”

That ride in 2023 will feature extraordinary headlining performances from the world-famous legendary rock visionaries, The Black Crowes; one of the most vital and thrilling forces in present-day rock-and-roll, My Morning Jacket; nine-time GRAMMY AWARD-recipient Sheryl Crow; and Connecticut’s indie-groove all-stars experiencing a meteoric rise, Goose. On the journey to becoming legendary themselves, the rest of the talent of the initial announce — as well as the headliners — can be discovered, explored and devoured via extensive bios, links and playlists by visiting here.
In fact, the new information available on the newly designed FloydFest.com goes on ‘Forever’ — visit the site to find:
• Brand-new and expanded FAQs, including info by ticket type and pricing tiers:
• A brand-new Site Map, which will be regularly updated throughout the season:
• The valued Partners of FloydFest 23~Forever:
• The evolving lineup, artist information, playlists and links:
• Rules, a packing list and directions:

Glamping info: Cause that’s what we do.

• Area lodging info:
• A Spotify playlist featuring artists from FloydFest 23~Forever:

• Information on Festival Experiences (such as Outdoor Adventure and the Children’s Universe), plus access to customer service, booking contacts, vendor info, volunteer info … and more!

“Our endgame has always been to become the gold-standard example of a ‘boutique’ festival, and now, with a new home, and with the stated goal to park and camp each-and-every patron on one site — eradicating the need for offsite lots and offsite shuttles — our dream is manifesting into reality. We are grateful, we are energized, we are inspired — and we’re doing this for our patrons,” said Sam Calhoun, chief operating officer of FloydFest and Across-the-Way Productions. “What we have created as a festival and family over the past two decades has blossomed into a year-round, indelible intention and lifestyle. Our renewed mission is to sustain this family for years and years to come. What we have curated and originated is bigger than each of us, and it deserves to go on ‘Forever.’”

Having debuted at FloydFest 19~Voyage Home (2019), and then flourishing during FloydFest 21~Odyssey (2021), the FloydFest Bus Stop — a psychedelic-painted school bus that has been converted into a professional recording studio — hosted yet another incredible assemblage of artists during FloydFest 22~Heartbeat (2022), and those recording sessions recently premiered on social media and on a dedicated YouTube channel (“FloydFest Bus Stop”): . The FloydFest Bus Stop is set to return for FloydFest 23~Forever, after receiving national press for its distinctive content and unique presentation.

As always, FloydFest will also include vibrant and varied vendors, quality craft brews and chews, healing arts, workshops and whimsy, camping and children’s activities, outdoor adventure, onsite art installations and a final lineup featuring almost 100 artists performing on six stages over five days.
FloydFest is located at its new home, “FestivalPark,” located at 5826 Floyd Highway North in Check, Va. Find detailed directions, a packing list and rules by visiting here. Extensive, detailed and updated FAQs can be found by visiting here.

Tickets? Yes. Right here. 

Life is always mo betta when you have tickets in hand. Perchance folks will make plans because of your progressive decision. FloydFest is a no-nonsense party and an annual family reunion. There’s a good chance you might even run into those crazy cousins from Asheville. You know what to do.

For more information, call (888) VA-FESTS or email info@floydfest.com. Stay informed via FloydFest’s newsletter and find FloydFest on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter Patrons can also opt-in for the FloydFest Text Club by texting “FloydFest” to 540-215-2002 on their mobile device.

From the wrangler’s archives visit past mistakes with FloydFest “21: The Inmates are Running the Asylum and FloydFest “22: The Last Dance on Buffalo Mountain. We are excited to present our new improved Pickin’ Tent and Trading Post featuring our new arts and crafts pavilion. Come visit the kinder, gentler Kamp Happiness with its lemonade stand and book club. New operating hours are 9am to 9pm with a hard shut down at eleven. FloydFest “23: Forever. Start working out now. You’re gonna need it.

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Big, little, redneck, EDM, whatever. It don’t matter. The wranglers do all the festivals. They don’t give a shiznolina. They are there for the scene and everybody loves a Polka. While different kinds of festivals offer different pleasures, they all have something in common. What is was, Lucy didn’t know. She wasn’t some kind of seer. Oh, and don’t forget witch festivals like Beltaine. Hippies and drums. And boobs. Believe what you want. This was going to be her first Major Malfunktion and one thing this party had to offer was high octane, Carolina-Virginia driven heavy-family music. For a relatively young festival, Lucy figured it to be a meeting of the minds. A think tank of some of the best and brightest young minds in the business. Here’s a key to the executive washroom. Welcome to the 11th floor.

Major Malfulktion 2022 Lineup:

Big Daddy Love (BDL) is no gentle string quartet and identifying a single genre is nearly impossible. All four members are comfortable playing almost any type of American music. Our sound has been described as “a blend of rock, bluegrass, southern soul, and psychedelic jams” that we have long referred to as “Appalachian Rock.”

The quartet has played well over a thousand shows across the country and has released four CDs—most recently Live at Ziggy’s and This Time Around. Along the way, we’ve played venues of all sizes from listening-room coffee houses to the 20,000 seat PNC Arena in Raleigh, NC. Big Daddy Love’s festival resume ranges from local favorites like The Big What to larger regional festivals such as Bristol Rhythm & Roots and the premier southeastern festival, FloydFest.”

Kentucky Ruckus is a bourbon-fueled rock band from the Bluegrass State of Kentucky. After meeting in 2019, the newly acquainted quartet established themselves as Kentucky Ruckus and began turning heads with their rowdy live show.

Kentucky Ruckus’ sound is founded on their genetic and musical inseparability catapulted by the raw energy and pure rowdiness of their live performance. This sonic situation begins with two brothers in a barn, a guitar-and-drum duo whom nurtured an unrivaled rhythmic connection while growing up together in the central Kentucky hills. A heavy-picked bass style corresponds with the kick drum, and gritty upper-register vocals complete the high-energy no-rules rock sound that is Kentucky Ruckus.

War Chile hails from Salem, VA and with roots in blues, rock n’ roll and psychedelic weirdness, their high-energy shows are slap-yo-mama good. On the very rare occasion, usually under a Planter’s Moon, they may break out their multi-media, multi-cultural impressionistic”Hawaiian Fire Dance”. Be on the lookout. It’s something you don’t want to miss.

For the past decade, The Judy Chops have been wowing audiences with their deft musicianship and high-energy live shows.  This seven piece band comprised of family and friends has evolved from a Shenandoah Valley favorite into one of the hottest acts in the Virginia music scene.  Their unique take on Americana is a fusion of modern and vintage musical styles, blending elements of swing, blues, rock, and soul for a sonic experience Huffington Post calls ‘genre-defying!’

Orange Culture is a hard-hitting rock band from Roanoke, Virginia.  The band’s combination of original music and showmanship has allowed them to develop a rabid following from the ground up.  Their growing reputation has landed them opportunities to play for larger crowds, tour the northeast, and open for the likes of B.o.B, Kendall Street Company, and Floydfest 2021.  Founded in the winter of 2019, while most of the members were still teenagers in high school, Orange Culture was spotted at their first gig at Parkway Brewery by the organizers of Floydfest and invited to play the festival, (which finally happened in 2021 due to the pandemic). Orange Culture and fellow bands like the Snapping Turtlenecks, went on to revitalize the Roanoke Valley youth music scene, playing a series of high-energy shows across Southwest Virginia.

Swim in the Wild is the Adventure Alternative band of the Carolina’s. A new Rock-Folk-Americana fusion with so much East Coast energy that it needs its own identity. SITW is a soundtrack to adventure, an outdoor drama, and a party by nature. Making their splash in the spotlight with their first self titled EP and LP “One if By Land”, the Swim Team has highly anticipated the release of “Two if By Sea” in 2021. The latest single “Wants & Needs” is available on all platforms!

TrailHeads are a five-piece, Pittsburgh based, genre hopping, musical experience that blends funk and rock with melodic improvisational jams.

Delirious George is a band out of Norfolk, VA who put a delirious twist on the precision-funk genre or as they call it, Grown-Folk music. Their sound has been shaped by many great influences, that they’ve also had the privilege of sharing a bill with, such as: Dopapod, Pimps of Joytime, Jazz is Phish, The Fritz, Big Something, and many more. This high energy group is sure to get you on your feet and shaking what your mama gave you!

Also, be on the lookout for Loose Connection, Thumper, Maggie Blankenship, DJ Decodelic and Artist at Large, Dready Bear. Artists, vendors and more await you as the interactive festival experience crawls right up into your nether regions.

VIPness for a GA price? Their goal is to bring you a VIP experience for the price of a GA ticket! The two-day event ticket includes camping, two free meals as well as Happy Hour on Saturday. All shows will take place under the Mountain Valley Artisan Barn. Check out Last Dance on Buffalo Mountain for a rehash of what can happen when special guests find their way into the pickin’ tent.

Visit the Kamp Happiness Malfunktion Junktion for these customer services included with festival admission.
Full Body Tick Check
Blood Dialysis
Faded fortunes
Body painting
Drug test kits
Anal bead crafts
Moonshine therapy
Anal beads crafts 2

Find your way to the Kamp Happiness Pickin’ Tent near the wranglers HQ. Join the fun for some late night frivolity and not-so-quiet camping. Don’t miss out kids. This is a real opportunity to let your freak flag fly with creatures of a similar ilk. Join the KH Family Jam for pick up string music all hours of the day. Accordions and cajons welcome.

Thank you K&K Production for letting the wranglers be involved. But really, what kind of animal would try and put on a festival. I mean, who is interested in that kind of headache? What’s left to do when they start burning the porta-johns?

Keep up with the wranglers as we attack Blue Ridge Rock Fest, Oceans Calling and Rolling Loud NY before we drift back down to Flawda for the Suwannee, October double-punch of Roots Revival and Hulaween. The Alpha and the Omega. Don’t be afraid of Cheese Love.

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Welcome back leaf lookers to the land that time forgot. Blackberry thicket, pine, spruce and gherkin littered the ridges up to the summit. According to tradition, the surrounding area was principally a hunting grounds by Indians, including the Canawhay tribe. Six hundred years later the tradition continues. Bring what you got. It’s time for the potluck. When it was all said and done, they left it all up on the mountain and you can’t put the Poligrip back in the tube.

Deer everywhere, all very young and just standing on the side of the road, hanging out with Evan Williams, smoking Parliaments and showing off their tattoos like a pack of Richmond thugs. The best belonged to the doe with her baby daddy’s name written in cursive on the back of her furry neck.

Some places possess a strong spiritual energy. Perhaps significant events occurred there, like battles or religious ceremonies. Maybe the spot was located near a special place like a mountain, cave or craft brewery. A holy place that could maintain the significance for hundreds of years. There would be ghosts and memories that would live forever in that place. The ghosts would know. The trees would know. They saw what you did, you filthy bastard. You can try to wash your mouth out with soap again, but it won’t help. Sometimes the dirt won’t come out.

“This year I’m not going to get completely spun.”

Lunchbox made that statement on Tuesday. Three days later he’d slept for a total of four hours. But what choice did he really have? This was FloydFest and a mosaic patchwork of some of the most fun people on the planet. He’d trained for this his whole life and it was time to show off and let the freak flag unfurl.

They pulled in the Fridane before the festival for the last of the work weekends. They didn’t care what was happening as long as they were able to pull into camp, drop off the metric ton of bullshit and scoot the Oldsmowagon back up to staff camping with Sawmill and his cooler of High Noons.

But the “gentlemen” at the gates were waiting.

Poised like Panamanian border agents, they were both wearing all black fatigue gear and sporting plastic assault rifles. It was immediately obvious that new security protocols had been implemented. Before too long they had Baitibucket knuckle deep in a cavity search and were checking Miss Cali like it was Midnight Express. (ed.note: Not sure hyperbole is still a thing. Please stick with hearsay and conjecture.)  

Lucy, Miss Cali and Four Day Old Brie were looking to slide into camp with their hair on fire and play small dog for a few days. Literally. Baitbucket couldn’t understand the thinking. The wooks are getting in anyway. One might as well put them to work. For all her assorted hustles, Lucy had accumulated six festival bracelets including the Vendor/Volunteer one found outside the Food Lion. Four Day Old Brie had developed a case of Alpha-gal and was struggling to hold down her gelatin. Fortunately during the deluge, the party with Beantown Barbeque and the bottle of tequila kept everyone warm and toasty. At the AirB&B The Dankness woke up to find Lunchbox in her recliner with his hands down his pants. Believe what you want.

Navy Seal Conditioning System. Baitbucket spent Monday setting up the HQ in the rain and the groundscored card table had begun to sag and puddle. At some point in the afternoon he got his foreskin caught in his zipper for the first time since fifth grade and the screams could be heard all the way to Meadows of Dan. The Kitten blew in Tuesday like a cloud of mustard gas and it may well have been his fault the entire camp stayed up Tuesday night. By the time of the Wednesday Sharkbruise? set at the Beer Garden stage he was seen flirting with the girl from Virginia Beach. Lucy screamed, “Don’t do it. That’s why they’re called Chesafreaks!” For God’s sake, crack a book. Later, it was suspected he’d been hit in the head with a hickory nut and failed concussion protocols before waking up next to Rock Castle Creek.

Was it Thursday? Maggie supplied the Chicken of the Woods and Mr. Beautiful cooked it up in buttery deliciousness. Where was Clay with the morels with deer meat? Shawsvegas in summer is the place for wild mushrooms. Miss Cali stopped off to check out The Judy Chops and pick up Stanely the Manly on her way to the Frick Frack Blackjack table. How many wet souls can you get for one fat dreadlock? Oh, you’re not allowed to use dreadlocks as frick frack? Shut the front door. Don’t you know, the big ones carry more memories. Keep your wet souls to your stinky self and remember, butterflies don’t make all the rules.

“Be not a cancer on the Earth.”

Kamp Happiness Girl Power: You can close your eyes if you want Marion, but it’s not going to stop. The X chromosomathon landed on Kamp Happiness like a clear photograph of the mother ship. The Hot Waffle Iron, a Blue Ridge Girl, a Judy Chop and the buskers all showed up to lend a little sound to the HQ side A. Even Old Crow and War Chile dropped some donations into the renegade set plate. I’m sorry sir, do you have the proper lanyard?

VIPness: Is it wise to let the Mexicans run The Hurt’s margarita bar? Like Tamiami Sammy said, “If it doesn’t have okra it’s not gumbo, if it doesn’t have salt it’s not a margarita. Maybe a little Kentucky Ruckus before heading into town for chimichangas. Just wait until Monday because it’s not a secret anymore. And be wary of bartenders from Richmond working the Bloody Mary bar. You know how they be.

Baitbucket could no longer trust his double vision eyes. The nights without sleep were beginning to compound and things were becoming a bit “sporting”. On his way back from the Marcus King shredathon at Hill Holler, he witnessed a woman playing the stand up bass while wiggling around on her back like some kind of python. Things were starting to devolve to the point that not long after, someone placed a can of temporary fluorescent hair color directly beside a can of bear mace. Again, the screams could be heard as far as Meadows of Dan.

You don’t need your ego to cry like a girl with a skinned knee. The festival might not be the apropos place to have a jaw-dropping, eye-opening group revelation but again, there may be no choice in the matter. Say goodbye to the ego, this is full immersion festival therapy. Lucy closed one of her eyes. Things were starting to come at her too fast. Singers and shredders were zipping by at light speed. The Low Water Bridge Band swung in for a few tunes not long before the morning shit birds were poised to chirp under the shine of Venus. Even Adam’s kids in the nook slept quietly while the adults wept and jabbered.

Moist, Verging on Damp: Bfly was basically living under a tarp for the first time since her Rainbow Gathering days. For real. No tent of which to speak. The night before, her tent had rolled down the hill with her in it and ended up as someone else’s groundscore. Her luggage was soaking wet and strewn everywhere. Brie came through with the bright idea to put tarps over the ez ups but the damage had been done. By day three of the wetness Bfly was making grunting noises and had reverted back to the way of her feral ancestors.

Baitbucket had been so impressed with the festival he could no longer continue to use the traditional tropes and literary devices available. Sure, it was a great party but how many different ways were there to describe the beauty of the mountain party? Over the course of twenty years in this location, how many bands had broken through? How many people had fallen in love. How many friendships were founded that would last for life? How many blowjobs? This year couples were poised to get married and grandmothers and uncles were ready to pass on as the wheel keeps turning. Indeed.

Someone put the Kitty to work with Hen and Jason in the motor pool so he already had all the keys. Go with your strengths. Beantown Skippy and Doug Fresh were in charge of signage, thus making it personal with the sign thieves. Lucy had her eyes on the mermaid at site ops but that was pillaged by Sunday by a thief with more gumption. She wanted to sneak into the photo pit and take photographs of Melissa Etheridge but sometime during the week, Lucy lost her new digital camera. Along with the computer she forgot at Bonnoroo this tour was getting expensive.

And then it happened again. He was sleeping in his soaking wet, open air tent covered in what was left of someone else’s dried clothes when he heard the sing-song sound of musicians around the table. It was time to get up from the disco nap and find the staff party. In a blessed act of contrition, Beantown Juicy Fruit offered the handle of grapefruit vodka. Later at Rock the South in Culman, they would learn that in a water bottle it looked identical to Pedialyte. Wookie camouflage to be sure. Just like a Subaru Outback in the 828. It ended up at Camp Opulence and for his part in the altercation, Mr. Beautiful was subsequently lashed to a pine tree and slathered in clover honey. The woodland critters were allowed to lick at him until their bellies were plump.

For all the successful FloydFest themes and titles, there are always a few that don’t make it past the drawing board. Here are some forgotten samples.

Top Ten Rejected FloydFest Themes:

• Ticks Alive!
• Polyamorousity
• Incest, Racism and Syphilis 1875
• Rosie’s Wild Chicken Bus Ride
• Fuzzy Photographs For Days
• Satania
• “I’m good friends with Sam”
• Polkathon 2000
• Boob Sweat
• Hillbilly World of Smells

FloydFest is loaded with the best kinds of degenerates. North Carolina men have big appetites for banjo music and adventure. Like the Girth. He was something different before the girl came around. Now it was all about pillows. Thirty-seven in his tent, not including the body pillow. Never give up on a thug. All it takes is a pretty girl to round off the edges of the typical savage.

Hey now. Be sure to visit the Across the Way Productions website and become one with another dimension of digital whimsy. Come into the light Carol Anne.

At some point Beantown Skippy and Roberto de Nube left the Big Daddy Love show, slipped in behind security and made their way to the wook nook. As usual, driving at unsafe speeds, the Beanman skidded to a stop directly on top of the rose garden which was in full bloom. Lucy stepped up and grinned. “Hey boy, those were my grandmother’s roses. And that’s a real nice pit pass you got there.” “I say we roll him for his shoes. You take the pass,” Miss Cali chimed. Eventually a sacrificial handle of peach moonshine got all the ships pointed in the right direction. From here on out, it would be all business. Be on the lookout for one of the last mountain festivals before the weather turns “south”. Major Malfunktion Music Festival is headed your way.

Check out the gallery from Cloud Bobby Productions. Visit his website, Facebook and Instagram.

Lucy had definitely been wrangled into this Virginia/North Carolina crowd and would keep coming back as long as they would let her. She never figured this was going to last forever but things were getting a mite comfortable. There was a time when she had to lie to come up with a good festival story. When it comes down to brass tacks, the truth is more fun. The FBI and insurance companies haven’t used wook wranglers testimony in court yet. Mind the privacy tapestries. If you don’t see what’s happening, you can’t be an accessory.

“Be like Charlie. Always.”

You have found your way through the maze and into the FloydFest etherweb adventure! Find their website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Spotify Pressmerch and two tin cans hooked up by kite string. All the things.

Don’t cry sweet Hafiz. Music festivals move all the time. The place is special and so are the people that make it happen. The crew, the bands, artists, freaks and even Benjamin will all follow and something new will be born. And there’s always a possibilities of new blowjobs. Memories, fantastic and fresh just waiting to take hold. Les is probably already there picking out the new spot. It’s good to know people. This was the last dance on Buffalo Mountain. Get ready for the first dance on the new spot and don’t be a wallflower. Le purrr.

Be sure to visit the wook wrangler archives and check out some of our new installations from the world of the Electric Forest. Keep up with the wranglers as we linger in the mountains for another month and then it’s back to Florida and the fall tour of lost souls. We look forward to seeing the mountain people in February, when they get tired of the cold.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Namaste y’all.

Let’s be clear. When you involve the wook wranglers it should come with some expectations. They are going to get there a little early and set up nonstop action sequence of interactive festival fun (full immersion festival therapy). They are also going to stay a little late and clean up their business. Know what you’re getting into and don’t be surprised when the Danger:Swamp sign goes missing. Also look for the Kamp Happiness Pickin’ Tent filled with an eager staff of trained professionals ready to “serve” twenty-four hours a day. Check out Cornucopea Festival for more information on the wrangler commons area installation. That’s an invitation. Don’t be scared.

Epilogue: Two weeks later Lucy was working Alan Jackson VIP in Savannah, Georgia when a bartender suggested she visit Abe’s on Lincoln. “You’ll like it,” she said. “Plenty of wooks there.”

Perfect…

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Not For Prophetizin?

There’s no stoppin’ what’s comin’. The fog will be heavy in the morning and hillbillies will scurry hither and yon. What are they doing in the mist? The sexy Pickle will be hard at work, preparing the site for the masses. Mr. Beautiful will be sitting by the front gate with his mando. The official first set of the show. Old Dominion boasts some of the best music festivals anywhere and FloydFest is at the top of many a list. Don’t throw a fit. Just lay back and let it happen. In addition to a party absolutely bulging with stupid fun, there is a chance you’re going to gain some friends and lose some weight. Now don’t make that face. It’s not too good to be true. After four days of the FloydFest deluge that spare tire tends to deflate. Between the walkin’, dancin’ and life style choicin’, most folks end up burning about ten pounds which can be chalked up as collateral benefits. This is both a marathon and a sprint, and it’s all happening on the slanted sides of the the blue ridge mountains. By the time it’s done, the quadriceps will be bulging and the poison will mostly be rendered leaving nothing but colorful flashbacks. Moonlight and sunrise hikes with cousins up and down the trail tends to burn serious calories. And don’t mention banjo pickin’. Even if you eat real food, the coal goes straight in the tender my friend.

There is no embargo for our love.

This is FloydFest (both Fs are capital) and it has a special place in the heart of the wranglers. Hippies, rednecks, Geminis and heathen will all gather for this party. The stage will be set for the dance of the ouroboros. The mountain breeze will be blowing and the Asheville and the 828 crowd will find their way to the dance floor with their Virginia cousins. Golf carts will go missing. The tea leaves can be no clearer. Lay back and let the party come to you.

This five-day celebration of music & art is nestled in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Southwest Virginia featuring outdoor adventures, vibrant and varied vendors, quality brews and chews, healing arts, workshops, children’s activities, art installations, and a lineup featuring more than 100 artists on nine stages. FloydFest 21~Odyssey is set for July 21-25, 2021, at the longtime home at Milepost 170.5 on the Blue Ridge Parkway in Floyd, Va.

The present lineup includes Lake Street Dive, Old Crow Medicine Show, Trampled By Turtles, Melissa Etheridge, Marcus King, Ann Wilson, Morgan Wade, Durand Jones & The Indications, Railroad Earth, Amythyst Kiah, Buffalo Mountain Jam celebrates Old and In the Way, Leftover Salmon  The Infamous Stringdusters  The California Honeydrops, Yonder Mountain String Band, Keller Williams’ Grateful Gospel, American Aquarium, Neal Francis, Sierra Ferrell, Aaron Frazer, Kitchen Dwellers, Acoustic Syndicate  The Brothers Comatose, Caitlin Krisko and The Broadcast, Dogs In A Pile, LITZ, Isaac Hadden, Big Daddy Love, Keller & Ella Williams, The Judy Chops, and 2021 FloydFest On-the-Rise Competition winner, 49 Winchester, and runner-up, Sexbruise?. 

There will be a heavy portion of Sexbruise? on the menu for Wednesday night. Be on the lookout for the snack gun and/or a vat of mayonnaise. Where is Bazinga when you need him?

Sexbruise? is the target of numerous ongoing lawsuits from The Department of Health, The Church of Scientology, Outback Steakhouse, Stoke’s Honda of Goose Creek and many others. According to an article shared on Facebook, the original members of Sexbruise? all died in a tragic hang gliding accident in 2017 and were replaced by body doubles all of whom are physically attractive. Also, Stratton lost his keys at Rooster Walk so if anyone has seen them please text him at 843-251-4813 or Venmo them at @sexbruise.

FloydFest Diet Plan Options:

The Sexbruise?: Mayonnaise, snacks, Sudafed, pancakes, scrambled eggs, koolaid, jalapeno gatorade, two cartons of cream cheese, stuffing

The Delta Lot: Mike Helms’ Rum Punch, blue jello shots, four day old Brie with Tequila,

The kamp happiness: Expired narcotics, breakfast Natural Lite, warm bags of Tikka Masala, strawberry salad

The Fallout Shelter: Groundscored cigarettes, walked on cocaine, warm crotch whiskey

The Nakita: Macro doses of LSD, macro doses of mushrooms, literally hundreds of whippets, mayonnaise sandwich left over from the Sexbruise?

Marking its 10th round of lineup additions, Across-the-Way Productions welcomes two new ‘Local Love’ bands, Option 22 and DEADSUN, as well as two new members of the On-the-Rise Competition Class of 2022, Will Easter and the Nomads and Pink Beds. Also added to the lineup are Americana singer-songwriter Aaron Burdett, who won the 2020 MerleFest Chris Austin Songwriting Contest; and Caleb Stine and Into the Fog, two talented additions that take the place of previously announced artists The Wooks and Ben de la Cour, who are sadly now unable to perform at FloydFest 22~Heartbeat. Apart from music, ‘Heartbeat’ will feature three showings of the award-winning documentary ‘A Year in the Pit: A Journey into Music Photography,’ which spotlights FloydFest and many of its photographers, as well as myriad other regional and national events.

Clayopheus the Detangler was the first FloydFest wrangler. Then came Ka’oili with his bad hair and finally Lucienda joined with the very inmates who they ran the asylum. It would be difficult to compete with that kind of ridiculous silliness but every year is a different and special, like you. Some predictions can be made such as new friends and bad decisions but other aspects of the future can get lost in the fog of the either. What could she expect this year? Stage diving during Big Daddy Love. She was no prophet. What exactly were the unexpected occurrences that would smash into her like a runaway school bus? Hard to see the future is. Old school or new blood?

Check out the full schedule , by-day schedule, direct ticket link, website, Spotify, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Join kamp happiness and the rest of the wrangler faithful for a Wednesday night Sexbruise? party. Cuidado. Piso Mojado. Visit the wook nook and stay for some chemical bluegrass from the Camp Opulence Family Band staring Mr. Beautiful and Danielle Hot Damn Danielle Collins. Sit on the the uneven perch and dive into the ice chest of good intentions.

Thy name is hubris.

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“Come on and join our convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy
‘Cross the USA”

You’re back in Virginia so it’s time to trade your skid loader for a weed eater. The dye is cast and the lineup is set for Rooster Walk Music and Art Festival 2022 and it’s time to get the convoy rolling again to Pop’s Farm in beautiful Axton, Virginia. Music, art, dancing, fun, Kamp Happiness, chemical imbalance, Boston and an overload of secret stage lighting waits for you on the mountain. Get ready for all the fun stuff just don’t get hit in the head by a seven pound acorn. You could seriously lose third grade.

“There is no way you could be from my loins.”

Recent additions include overall festival headliner Grace Potter, as well as: Moon Taxi, Ryan Montbleau, Town Mountain, Kendall Street Company, Fireside Collective, The Dead Reckoning (Roanoke), Daniel Donato, TK & The Holy Know-Nothings, Disco Risqué, Goodfellers, After Jack, Into The Fog, TC Carter Band, Jules & The Agreeables, The McGee Family Band, DJ What?!, and Pumphouse Blues.

Rooster Walk 12 will feature five immensely talented Artists at Large in Ron Holloway (saxophone; Allman Brothers, Susan Tedeschi Band), John Bryant (drums; Ray Charles), Josh Shilling (keys; Mountain Heart), Roosevelt Collier (pedal steel; The Lee Boys) and Wallace Mullinax (guitar; Dead 27s). This quintet of artists will form the basis of the RW12 Artist at Large Band, which will perform a different themed set on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, respectively, at the festival.

This year’s party includes Little Feat, Lettuce, BIG Something, Andy Frasco and the U.N., Yarn, Tab Benoit, The War And Treaty, Fruition, The wrangler family band, Los Colognes, Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast, Isaac Hadden Organ Trio, Sanctum Sully, The Wilson Springs Hotel, Striking Copper, The Stews, Big Fat Gap, Sammy Rae & The Friends, Brandon “Taz” Niederauer; Yarn; Mountain Heart; The Nude Party; The Wooks; Mike & The Moonpies; Sol Driven Train; Crawford & Power and Pirates of the Piedmont and more!

Rooster Walk will take place over Memorial Day weekend (May 26-29, 2022) at Pop’s Farm. It’s just down the street from Bostons’s house and Dognado. The Rooster fam is planning to go bigger than ever, and you can count on all the RW staples at this one, from amazing music, to food and craft vendors, kids’ activities, on-site camping and outdoor activities! Come visit the relaxation station at the Kamp Happines Hobo Kamp as we paint and build all the dumb fun stuff. Ever try an elephant tranquilizer? It brings out the artist in everyone.

Rooster Walk Tips:

• • Don’t always go for it on fourth down. God loves field goals.
  • Strawberry Shortcake indica recipe?
  • Wood splitters are not for personal use.
  • Keep your ears on, comeback.
  • Not all Boners feel good.
  • Spunion finger painting suspended until further notice.
  • Less talk, more rock.
  • Molly can play laying down
  • Jeff runs all illegal lighting
  • Drugs+paint=all kinds of fun
  • Quit Your Job Bitch
  • Wash, rinse, repeat

 

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And there was something about hearing Little Feat songs. Celebrating Waiting For Columbus? Yes please. Good times. And Andy Frasco? What is this absolute fresh hell of which you speak? He’s the sanest one in that band and a complete dumpster fire. Who remembers that Sunday FloydFest show after the rain? Yaaaa. Crazy people are lively and fun. En route to the Roanoke airport, Andy and Casey attempted to subdue the driver and steal the artist transpo van. That is a true but unprovable fact.

Tickets still available for Rooster Walk 12. Memorial Day. Check out the VIP shit as well. The guys that run it are complete Virginia trash and do a first-class job. Impossible to even look at them without laughing.

“Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mama right in the mouth.”

Don’t forget your compression socks. Call Steve Little for further information. World’s worst Lockn’ ambassador? You be the judge.

Visit the Rooster Walk website and like their social media sites on Facebook and Instagram. Keep up with the interweb. The future is now.

This article has been sponsored by the truck with the Carolina squat or the Tennessee tilt. Thanks Roy Cooper. Keep up with the wranglers as we try to find some kind of job at Okeechobee. Whatever. Florida festival season continues with Tommy Thermometer and Grassroots at Virginia Key, and a Suwannee season that promises to break the dyke. Brainquility, Rising, Spring, Resonate and the Tipper show should be enough to tip the scales. That is a hoot nanny of a party.

See you on the mountain. Pocket knives don’t start EZ-Go golf carts.

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