Suwannee Resonate "24: Pedro's Lost Journal

These are certainly strange and exciting times we are living in. Pull your head out of the sand and take a gander around. On the eve of the eclipse, it had finally come to pass and the prophecy fully revealed as gospel. As always, the festival season gears up in the sunshine state whilst the rest of the country languishes in the brisk embrace of lady winter, yet the the truth remains. A year after her introduction into the Hobo Kamp Fallout Shelter, Pedro and her bitter minions had returned to unfurl the Kamp Happiness banner at Suwannee Resonate at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park. Same as it ever was, they’d come to join forces with family and strangers alike on the banks of Bullhorn Lake. Welcome back. It’s a time to recharge all the crystals, inside and out.

This is Suwannee Resonate. Famously one of the best get-downs of 2023. Ask anyone. And the Suwannee faithful were back and geared up for the needle drop. It’s the return of Pedro la Destructora and her front yard, dumpster fire. It’s a hot biscuit of a mess. Get in line. Take the money. He doesn’t bite, the check’s in the mail and I don’t do this with every guy. Refrain from chasing after buses or women, you’ll get left behind every time.¹ Welcome to Suwannee Resonate “24: Pedro’s Lost Journal.

The following exerts from Pedro’s Lost journal. Recovered, at great loss of life, from the Garifuna jungles of coastal Honduras, all entries have been recounted verbatim. Believe what you want but some things cannot be unread.

From The the Lost Journal of Pedro la Destructora, “The Book of Forgotten Tomorrows” 2024.

Tuesday: Arriving to Spirit of Suwannee Music Park. Desolate, quiet, dark park at quarter to 11. Just in time. No food or pee breaks allowed on this journey unless one wishes to slumber upright at the Bee and that’s a no. The science checks out on the science not checking out. New rule: Show up too late for entrance or check in…sleep at the Bee. STOP.

Ran into park royalty Ted and his beautiful corgi pup Emmy. Roped him into agreeing to a Kamp Happiness golf cart acquisition for Saturday. En route, talked to the consigliere, who mentioned a creepy man in a school bus, which marched Ted’s description. Thankfully catastrophe was avoided as it was another person. Lot’s of greasy busses out there.

-Dear Rico from Stone Mountain, GA sees me fumbling with a tent in the dark and brings his eBike headlights to assist. Much obliged. A rainy, windy night with 40 mph gusts ensued. #floridaspring #hashtagdon’tgetarrestedinvolusiacounty

Wednesday: Due to poor planning and a lack of remaining warnings, I had to commute daily to the McD’s in Live Oak for proper work duties Wed-Fri. What a torturous experience, leaving the park for 8 hours a day. There is a small silver lining for those KH folks as they have built in courier service, cheap ice and a steamer sack of Krystals is always appreciated. I head back to the park on lunch only to find Cody and Bobby fully set up right across from Bullhorn Lake. Cody was expected but Bobby was a nice surprise. By quitting time, Martha had already joined us with reckless abandon of another bunk fluff batch. Emma Jay’s hashtag van life glass blowing extravaganza blessed us with her presence later that afternoon. Kamp Happiness girl power was in full effect. STOP.

Thursday: I looped Emma into a 2 hr round trip drive to my wife’s place for another car load of assorted trash with promises of seeing a week old baby donkey. Emma supervised the loading of the car beautifully. Property tour was had including gathering of a fresh eggs for camp. Emma convinced Pedro to stop at the Lake City Chilis for one last proper meal of a stack of lips, curly maple surprise and one hamburger, hold the onions. STOP.

Future Joy, Suwannee Resonate 2024. Photo by Jay Strausser.

Friday: Holy Jill who continues to call me “father” has joined fray mid-morning, traveling from the Gamecock state. Met her at in the forest at Scamp last year. Pure amazement of how quickly these folks latch on. Secret: Jill was a youth pastor as of 3 years ago but has since come to the dark side, reveling in all things hedonistic for 2 full days. Pedro was distraught that she had to leave Jill to her own devices in a new place while at the salt minds of McD’s. Thankfully Jill will be joining us at Hulaween for the real party.

Wait, there’s music at this party?

The KH banner was finally hung up. The Fred Sanford front yard garbage pile strikes again. Chromeo anyone, or maybe you’re unsure as to where to funk lies. Don’t be afraid of the Chromeo.

Saturday:

To do:

Trading post

Quit job

Future Joy

Auxiliary fire

Roadside seating

Search for bullhorn in lake

Lights

River bath

All were complete by night’s end, many thanks to all KH participants that assisted with our duties of repping KH. Didn’t even have to lift a finger on the auxiliary fire, Bobby pulls out some odd, pointy shovel to assist with movement of the fires.

It was quickly evident who had the machismo to man a trading post. Rubber duck for a sticker? In what world? Dominic appeared Saturday evening, We had given up hope that he was present. Many fireside visits were had, in search of a passerby with a cigarette. It is Saturday, after all.

The hottest item of the evening was a brand new pair of retro, groovy mushroom Vans shoes. We even offered Cinderella style fitting to find their rightful owner. Unfortunately Jess Greaves had her hand in the pot. Many know that Pedro runs the fairest of trading tables, we had so many interested parties in these shoes that she had to put them in layaway with a final offering/duel at 12 pm on Sunday as no one had worthwhile items for such a prized item. Jess stumbles by a distraught daughter(first fest) of the laser fox folks who mention a gal with a mustache that won’t take their trade for the Vans. Through incessant badgering, Pedro had enough and gave them to the youth as a token of good will towards the younger festival generation. Much huffing by Pedro. Pedro reminisced greatly over this very trading post, the location of meeting her wife over the trading table at last year’s resonate over a Whitney Houston t shirt. Stay tuned for wedding announcements and invitations to Pedro/Uncommon streetwalker’s wedding at this years Hula, Lucy to officiate. Gifts welcomed. Unfortunately due to livestock issues, the streetwalker was unable to attend. A true tragedy indeed.

2am smoke and fire emergency signals dated from 1984 created the wondrous Resonate grand finale. Dominic the river pirate attempted to ignite some leftover incendiary’s from Scamp with little luck, humidity be damned.

Clock was erected and chimed correctly each hour. Renegades aplenty. Emma crushed lot. A cute kid even though her parents were first cousins. The KH security team used radios to police the thugs from Jacksonville and keep the flags safe. Honorable mention: Andy Davenport of the Tiny Show.

Once again, the Mississppi blue-ribbon goes to Future Joy for bringing the ultimate A game. Emily and Zack for the win.

Colby’s famous gumbo

1 diced onion

1 diced green pepper

2 lbs chicken thighs

2 lbs smoked sausage

2 qts broth/stock

2/3 pint roux

No celery? No okra? No file? Sounds sketch…

It all began at Old Soul Brewing in beautiful Fort Myers, Florida. And now you know the rest of the story.

Martha’s Soup Kitchen (Cooler of good intentions)

Things wasted:

8 rolls of cooler water laden cinnamon rolls

6 trays of refrigerated pizza bagels

12 cheesy scrambled eggs

6 lbs of Cajun aka blackened style aka burnt chicken wings

Bobby and I tear off with Ted’s golf cart and dog on Saturday for an adventure, capturing our first and only Jolly Roger of the weekend – a special Irish variant of a Jolly Roger with clover, leprechauns and an Irish flag background. Later to be stolen from KH, Dom swears it was not him. Emmy the dog is a park celebrity and passerby engage with the dog more than they do the people

Reminder: Don’t fall asleep with your shoes on or you’ll be taped to the chair.

Pedro’s Resonate rules of the Circle K? Trading post:

1. This is a trading post, not a leave one take one. All transactions are supervised and haggled.

2. No stickers.

3. No Mexicans.

4. The Lemonade Merchant is never in charge.

Thanks to Karla for including the wranglers and Paul for hosting some of the most ferocious parties in the Orion Cluster. The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park is home to Kamp Happiness and we are proud to be its stewards. Keep up with the wrangler elite as we head to Chillicothe for Solshine Reverie and then to Mountain Music Festival in West Virginia. The festival season is upon us in a most brutal and beautiful way.

Beware the morality police. Do not abide their flimsy whims. And beware the expectation monster. Visit last years gibberish with Resonate “23: A Truly Beautiful Picture and like the wranglers social media sites on Facebook, Instagram, X and YouTube. Thanks for believing in science.