Mountain Music Festival “24: Snapchat Love and the Blind Spectrum

Welcome back to the quick hillbilly turnaround. Back from a turbulent weekend in Chillicothe, the wranglers made their way into the womb of the Appalachian Mountains and ACE Adventure Resort in New River Gorge, West Virginia. It’s the annual stop at Mountain Music Festival May 30- June 1, 2024. Watch it fellas, this is your wake up call. Don’t be late for the Boba date with the blonde girl. Sorry, not sorry. No couples yoga for you big boy. It’s certainly not the unsavory reek of desperation. This is Mountain Music Festival “24: Snapchat Love and the Blind Spectrum

The lineup, lean but dense included Dr. Bacon, Beats Antique, Moon Hooch, Yam Yam, Monophonics, The Kind Thieves, Moon Hooch and at some point, this party always feels like a Big Something festival. All tight, all fun but it is well documented that Kamp Happiness has been known to go out of their way to rub parts with the animals from Dr. Bacon. Sir, yezzir. One can only stare dumbfounded and admire the cut of their jib. And why not, who doesn’t enjoy their Bacon fried? Welcome to Splooshtown, population yes.

Enter Nature Valley Granola, sandal wearing earth muffin and the hardest working woman in show business. She arrived just after Spaceman Sketch, who slid in as a media poser in an effort to scoop up some legitimate credentials. Hard to believe that really matters to a Phish kid with the ability to slip between actual molecules. It’s still not fully understood how he jedi mind-tricked the box office, but on occasion he has been known to possess a suaveness.  Hard to figure. The bandages were gone but the scar tissue remained. The combined effect of too many Four Locos and animal sedatives. He’d begun to pour a strange dust into his C-Pap machine and the impact was immediately obvious. His mind was broken like the neck of a bull fiddle in the hands of an infant. That, along with the freak show that was Summer Camp had left his ego in tattered ribbons. Face the facts slacker, you are why you can’t have nice things. Welcome to Mountain Music Festival “24: Snapchat Love and the Blind Spectrum.

Stolen Identity and The Quick Turnaround. The Iceman showed up early and somehow convinced the box office that he was to be the recipient of one of the media tickets. Spaceman Sketch thought he was actually at a Third Eye Blind show, early onset dementia had surely set in, problem is it wasn’t that early.They set up Kamp Happiness next to some Charlotte Billy Goats who were ready to assist with the hard get down. Mountain Music Festival is consistently fun, easy and a little weird, in a good way. Definitely on the short list of festival destinations that allow campfires, which is nice, because nighttime temperatures here can also get down.

Welcome to Penny Lane’s grownup Boba date. It’s ok if you’re not Jewish but not great. The ball’s in your court big boy. Don’t play coy fool. If you’re not early, you’re late. Get off the phone tough guy. Real love doesn’t live on Snapchat.

During Beats Antique Lucy was starting to smell yeasty. She’d been trying to trade an angry Caribbean Jerk for a cigarette. Damned the fool who haggled fifteen minutes only to have no cigarettes. Hey poser, time is money. These joints aren’t going to roll themselves. Welcome to the unsavory reek of desperation.

It was a boon that the Iceman showed up. Nature Valley Granola was showing potential “chinks in the armor” and the White Knight was ready for the walk behind the train cars. It wasn’t quite the unsavory reek of desperation but his curiosity had been slightly piqued. And there they were! Future Joy, not on the lineup, had found their way to a late-night Pigment Sanctuary renegade set. Bfly slipped away right before sunrise and came back with a Blackbeard pirate flag. She was definitely about that kind of life.

Lucy’s pillow had been soaked, like everything else in her tent, with a viscous fluid resembling soapy pillow milk. Disgusted, she was standing outside her tent when she met Jeff the blind guy. He looked blind. He said he was blind. He carried a blind man’s cane. But every once in a while he would side step a trap or “see” something. Lucy figured he was playing some kind of hippy joke, albeit strange and progressive. Come to find, he could see slightly but as he put it, “blindness is a spectrum and there are levels”. He wasn’t pretending, he was somewhere on the blind spectrum.

The Pigment Sanctuary artist collective organized  the visual arts space where numerous artists showcased their work. This collective allows for what seemed like a large number of artists to obtain affordable tickets for the festival. Bfly noticed there were a plethora of legitimate artists at this festival, some of who would assist non-artists in garnishing free drinks reserved for the former. As an admitted non-artist, Lucy was lucky just to be on the same mountain with this list of festival talent.

Lucy found herself at the Lost Paddle to see the Talking Heads cover band. What was their name? She ran into an old boyfriend, which was want to occasionally happen in the festival setting. He was easy enough to remember as he had served her leftover hummus on the first date. Sorry dude, enthusiastic consent not given. She also remembered he had a bad habit of bumming a cigarette before saying good morning. The unsavory reek of desperation.

Thanks to Mountain Music Festival for letting wranglers media be part of the fun. Visit their website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Instagram, X and YouTube. Science is real. Believe what you want.     Namaste y’all.