Grassroots “23: Donna’s Iguana Lasagna

Great gravy said the lady. The Happiness Krewe security forces were back island hopping on Virginia Key in the silky sweet, Florida spring weather, setting up for the tenth annual Grassroots at Virginia Key Festival of Music and Dance. The feeling in the air could be coined as feverishly optimistic and it was obvious that the Shakori family was back in town. How would you like your iguana prepared? Welcome to Grassroots “23: Donna’s Iguana Lasagna. The time is nigh. This is the house that Cactus Jack built, the man of the hour. Those joints won’t roll themselves. Welcome back to the Sunshine State where the festival season never ends. This is the American adventure.

Situated at beautiful Historic Virginia Key Beach Park, a natural preserved beach right on the Atlantic Ocean just across the bay from downtown Miami, Florida, the 10th Annual Virginia Key GrassRoots Festival of Music & Dance is a 3-day music & arts festival preceded by 4 days of Workshops, Dinners & Dances produced as a part of the four seasons of the GrassRoots Festival: a 30 year running non-profit organization dedicated to providing a family-friendly celebration of music, dance, art and education; a music lovers paradise.

Cactus Jack and the Gatekeeper had already been camping on the beach for a few days when Tamiami’s dead cat showed Monday. Jesse came south from Okeechobee with a mountain of groundscored fruit. Lazlito would always remind us, “Don’t let your canta lope”. Last year it was Portuguese man-o-wars, this year it was fried iguana fingers and giant raccoons bathing in the cooler. Just off the coast of downtown Miami by early afternoon the Hobo Kamp had moved in and homesteaded security home base.

He’s a vegetarian, a yankee and the doctor said he’s not healthy enough for sex. Mom said that’s three strikes. He was only good at cribbage and rolling bones. The no see ums were out, or as Ma Roux called them, wings and teeth and come to find, there are no buffaloes in North America. Only bison. Hmmm. Being a security officer does not make you a vertebrae zoologist.

They are here because it was cold where they were from and their Oldsmowagons were encased in “shell ice” like a wolly mammoth. Winter in the mountains es no beueno. Donna would be playing in Key West that week and Bonita Springs later. The weather was perfect golden Florida.

Vibración familia. They all knew each other from New York and North Carolina. San Lazarus was raised after four days but the raccoons wouldn’t stop licking the sores on his legs.

“Dammit”

Late at night the trash pandas would lurk about, ripping open the cooler and bathing in it. There would come a raccoon wearing a grey cat onsie. Camped with Security Home Base they hooked up with Smokahontas who was still on the road running from Interpol. Smokahontas and Lightnin’ Liam, by no means were they flat earthers, but they had some curious ideas. He believed in ghosts and she in dragons.

At some point late-night Bfly got all loosey-goosey and dipped her hand a bit too deep into the blender while making daqueiries. Blood spurted all over the camp as she was reminded of the old addage, “the ninja bites back”. her finger in a blender, the ninja bites back. Tough titty said the kitty but the milk tastes good.

Next up, terrible tequila and  strawberry margaritas and a warning on the back of the Ninja not to stick fingers too far down in the teeth. Such things should not be necessary.

Bucket had always though of her as deisel and she surely was all of that. But there was so much more. Seeing her here with her Shakori family she was definitely in the proverbial pocket.

Hillbillies had invaded the island and they were not kidding around. In the correct order of operations the plan was to shoot the boar, trade that for a truckload of sweet potatoes and shoot the deer that comes to eat it. High science to be sure.

On the beach Baitbucket groundscored a surf leash which got repurposed as a girlfriend leash. When one is prone to wandering this is the case. Sparky the Pickle Queen. Three meals a day, showers and indoor plumbing, and then wash your own dishes in a kitchen overlooking the ocean.

Pilliaged Cactus Jack’s white tequilla, later they would purchase their own tequilla on Key Biscane. Cactus Jack would wake up with a La croix michelada. He invited all his friends to the party, some from high school when they still had ink wells on the desks, some from the todayland.

The Hobo Kamp was made of some who were gluten free and some who were vegetarians. She didn’t know there was no such thing as Celiac.

Visit the Grassroots website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.

Jesse was last seen driving away and trying to cook a pork butt in the back of his van. Wrinkle spray does not go on the face. Number one, you are a yankee. Number two, a vegetarian. And the doctor said you’re not healthy enough for sex. That’s three strikes big guy. Bye Felicia.

Sometimes it may seem like every festival is our favorite but the fact is they all have strengths and are uniquely special. Grassroots is a beautiful week on the beach and a celebration of varying musical cultures. See you next year under the coconut palms.