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These Tex Mex Egg Rolls are slimy, spicy and delicious. Flour tortillas filled with chicken, spinach, corn and beans make it a wrangler favorite. Prepare them the day before the party and freeze em until it’s time to get it on. Drop them in the grease for about ten eight minutes and you’re talking disco. You’ve never had it so good.

The egg rolls are best served with this avocado ranch dipping sauce. Boom. Just like the rolls, make it before and save it in the fridge.

Avocado Ranch Recipe

1 fresh avocado
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayo
1 tbsp buttermilk
3 tsp white vinegar
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp Badia all purpose seasoning
1/8 tsp dried dill weed
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
dash of cayenne

hot sauce to taste

Be sure to visit our other fusion recipes including Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

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Lightning bugs are endangered? We’ll need see more data on that one. Even in Honduras? Hmmm… In north central Alabama? Loss of habitat? Plenty of green there. Lightning bugs flourish where children grow. For a panther, yes. But a lightning bug? And manatees are making a come back. Exactly how long until barbecued manatee ribs are back on the menu? Can you imagine? The only thing they eat is salty grass and they’re monstrous. Naturally the little ones would taste better.

It’s the Coconut Curry Thai Soup recipe. The first new recipe in a while. Straight from Boone with some fusion twists. This is straight up Thai medicine, by way of High Country.

Fuzzy Photo Alert!: At the Full Moon Gathering last year an ADA transport vehicle was seen being used to harvest large slabs of firewood and embryonic stem cells. Be sure to visit the Puerto Rican Mofongo recipe.

You’ll figure out why it’s called crack soup.

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Puerto Ricans are a fine choice for friendly entertainment for a number of reasons. 1. They enjoy fun and frivolity so where you find them, there are good times close by. 2. They are feisty to the core so you rarely have to worry about getting beat up. Like guys from Boston, they love to mix it up, even the girls. Especially the girls. Your only question will be when you should drag your friend off the person he is turning into smooshed plantains.

The Mofongo’s roots come from the western African Fufu, mixed with Spanish and Taíno influences. Fufu is made from various starchy vegetables and was introduced to the Caribbean by Africans in the Spanish New World colonies. The origin of mofongo can be traced back to Puerto Rico.

TIPS TO MAKING MOFONGO

• Plantains: Unripe, green plantains make the meal here. Plantains’ starch becomes sugar overtime. When this happens, save them for plantains cooked in butter.
• Preparation: Peel plantains and cut into 1 inch segments. Prepare boiling water with a dash of salt.
• Boil: Cook in boiling water until plantains are tender (about ten minutes)
• Mash: Plantains in large mixing bowl and set aside.
• Cook: 3 Tablespoons of garlic until tender (about two minutes)
• Mix: Garlic with plantains. Crunch up a Cup of fried pork rinds and mix in.

Use the plantains as a filling in a small bowl like a pie crust. Add the chicken or beans into the plantain bowl and enjoy.

 

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Visit http://wp.me/p5fyfz-yc for Vic’s #PuertoRico #mofongo #recipe #foodie #foodporn

A post shared by Jason Nail (@nailtravels) on Feb 22, 2016 at 2:51pm PST

Puerto Rican Beans

2 cans small red bean

2 cans water

1 chopped potato

1/2 can tomato sauce

med thin sliced onion

T cilantro, T oregano, 2 T Adobo, 2 t Sazon, 2 t black pepper

2 T Sofrito (if you can find it)

1 t onion powder

Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer

VIC’S FAMILY CHICKEN

1 whole chicken (cut up)

2 med onions diced

package Sazon

1 T All purpose seasoning

2 cans tomato sauce

5 cubed skinned potatoes

2 t garlic powder

1-2 t black pepper

Use just enough water to cover ingredients.

Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer

For added thickness add 1 T tomato paste

This Mofongo recipe can go with other meats such as cubed beef or ribs. Tradition calls for any kind of leftovers to be used.

See this article on cooking fried plantains Costa Rican style.

February 22, 2016

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You’ve waited long enough and the time is finally here. Ma Roux’s Blue Ribbon Macaroni and Cheese Recipe has been a staple side dish in the family for many years. There’s no such thing as one helping. This gravy-based recipe has many faces, but the one here represents the core of the dish. Use it as a starting point and create your own versions that include a unique touch.

This recipe is all about the roux, which is the browning of flour in fat. It’s the creamy sauce that makes the base for this recipe. When it’s all said and done,  you are layering the pasta, sauce, and cheese. It’s as easy as that.

MA ROUX’S BLUE RIBBON MACARONI AND CHEESE RECIPE

Author: Ma Roux

Recipe type: side

Cuisine: American?

Prep time:  10 mins

Cook time:  45 mins

Total time:  55 mins

Serves: 6

INGREDIENTS

• 1 Box (8 oz.) pasta shells
• 1 lb Monterrey Jack/Colby Jack cheese
• ¼ Cup oil
• 2 T flour
• 1 Small onion (chopped)
• 1 T garlic (diced)
• 2 Cup milk
• 2 Chicken bouillon cubes
• salt and pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. cook pasta as directed with one chicken bouillon cube
2. set aside
3. heat oil in skillet on medium-low
4. saute garlic and onion until tender
5. add flour and cook until brown
6. add milk slowly and cook until thickened
7. add salt and pepper
8. grate cheese
9. layer pasta, cheese, and sauce
10. top with cheese
11. bake covered for 30 minutes on 350
12. remove lid or aluminum foil for the last ten minutes

Boursin, Brie or Alluete herb cheese also make great additions. Add a few tablespoons to the sauce or drop into the pasta while mixing.

WHAT CAN YOU ADD TO YOUR MAC AND CHEESE

• Jalapeno: Yes, and yes. Join the movement as we help the jalapeno pepper take over the world.
• Pablano pepper: Move over green pepper, we’re done with you.
• Sausage: This takes things from the side dish to the main course. This recipe can also be made and frozen ahead of time and is perfect for camping.
• Spinach: Fresh spinach should be added to the sauce so it can cook a little while before baking
• Shallot: With a milder flavor than onions, shallots offer a fancier mood for the palate.

 

You can use this white roux for many other sauce recipes. Play with the spices and give it your own special favor. Don’t be afraid to play with the cheese, as well. There are countless variations and you shouldn’t rest until you’ve tried them all.

Be sure to visit some of our other wrangler recipes like Cajun Chicken and Dumplings and Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

April 18, 2016

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“With your head down in the pig bin, Saying “Keep on digging”

Pig stain on your fat chin, What do you hope to find? When you’re down in a pig mine.

You’re nearly a laugh. You’re nearly a laugh, but you’re really a cry”. Pigs (Three Different Ones)

Amidst moister weather, the manzanitas are coming up roses at the Dead Cat pleasure palace at the base of the sacred Poncho Tree. The fire wood has been pillaged and the cooler is mysteriously full of ice and an obscene slab of Florida wild hog. How many hillbillies does it take to cook up a fat piece of boar over an open fire? Pay attention dear reader. The secret is in the land down under. Not the over. It’s time to get down in the pig mine. Dig that pig pit. Chuck in the flesh. Cover it with fire. Now you’re cooking with disco. With a crack team of culinary experts on hand, how hard could it possibly be? Welcome to Twice Blackened Hog Leg Recipe.

The nailtravels summer road trip is underway and while extended primitive camping has erased any concrete sense of time, our action scout team has hunkered down for a month of woodland homesteading at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park in Live Oak, Florida. With all the leftover folks from Suwannee Spring Reunion packed up and split, the campground has quieted down and our mobile headquarters is currently located on the edge of the farm field, complete with a front yard frisbee patch and nightly campfire music. The gypsy caravan is snugly homesteaded catty corner from the largest bat house in the country. Welcome to Bartertown. We’re here to find out if guano can be used to fuel a Coleman lantern.

Complete with Oriental rugs and silken drapes, the tent city HQ remains unmatched in it’s glamping stylings and continues to be a favorite photo spot for tourists. Windsock mullets and colored tapestries unfurl from the oak branches while the rest of the compound is complete with all the finest festival camouflage. Like a tribe of Bedouin spice merchants, a cautious alliance has formed with the local residents as the colorful band continues to blend in with the oak hammock backdrop.

In preparation for the unavoidable occurrence of inclimate weather, this year’s production staff replaced the rain tarps and ropes with feathers, scarves and Mardi Gras beads. The additions provided a much needed, inviting softness to the entire site and following a three-day deluge, collected nicely into clumped rivers of blue glitter and broken glass. The clogged streams of soaked hammocks and broken guitars formed a limp tributary which trickled all the way to the Suwannee River, prompting an investigation by the Environment Protection Agency to assess any long-term, environmental damage.

In an effort to find shelter from the the storm, we ended up on the amphitheater stage of the music park. One of the best concert venues in the country and usually littered with hammocks and folding chairs, the late night solo concert was played to a packed house of turkey oaks. The 2 am show was truly memorable as lightning flashes and high winds accompanied an acoustic set of Pink Floyd classics.

There is a return to some semblance of normalcy with the warmth of the morning sun and as things get back under par, we arrive at one of our favorite pastimes; preparing our meals over a roaring campfire. Hobo burgers, spit chicken, and roasted Peeps showcased the chef’s specials on this week’s sunset menu and the entree selection got an unexpected addition after Spacebug, driving our rented golf cart with a full head full of bennies and small barrel whiskey, attempted a high-speed power slide into the starboard side of a wild, feral hog. The sounds of shattering bone and fiberglass could barley be heard over the collective screams of both man and beast. Hours later, after dragging the broken carcass home, through miles of Florida swamp, the bug arrived at camp, covered in tendrils of bright pig’s blood and specks of marrow, eager to get started on some serious cracker cuisine.

TWICE BLACKENED HOG LEG RECIPE

Author: Pine Island Phil

Recipe type: redneck gibberish

Cuisine: cracker

Prep time:  10 mins

Cook time:  18 hours

Total time:  18 hours 10 mins

Serves: 15

This smokey interpretation of a timeless pork classic takes some time and creativity, but the proof is in the pudding. It is best served with an Oriental rice pilaf and a chilled Paisano-parachute cocktail.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 T kosher salt
• 1 T Creole seaoning
• 2 T cracked black pepper
• 2 T white peppers
• 1 chopped Spanish onions
• 1 chopped garlic clove
• 3 diced ghost peppers
• ½ gallon Louisiana hot sauce
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• ½ cup dried and finely chopped Humboldt County organic blueberry kush
• ½ oz crumbled crystal methamphetamine dry rub
• ⅛ cup 10-10-10 palm tree fertilizer
• 3 T clover honey
• 1 T fresh thyme

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Prepare pig with ingredients and wrap in an aluminum foil cocoon
2. Remove existing campfire
3. Dig a North Florida cracker-style pig pit (a hole)
4. Cover the bottom with a layer of coals
5. Add a layer of palm fronds (saw palmettos are advisable but cabbage palms will work in a pinch)
6. Insert fatback
7. Cover with another layer of hot coals
8. Add a layer of sand
9. Build a new fire on top of existing structure
10. Allow fire to burn for seventeen hours
11. Dig up perfectly prepared pig meat
12. Eat like starving savages

“I got your box. I picked the lock. I got in your box. Busted locks I’m inside your box. I’m looking at your pictures of your old cluttered box. Whew, this new box looks really GOOD on you. By the way, I love your new shoes. And your new recipe for blackened BABY ribs.”  Excerpt from “The Lost Trails of Moss and Fails” 1712

How To Make A Suwannee River Pig Pit:

• Pig Pit: Apparently no one on this staff knows how deep one should be. Ours was about a foot and a half deep and it seems as though that might have been a bit too shallow. If you’re not sure, there are certain tell-tale signs for which to be aware. For starters, it should probably be bigger than a bread basket. Beyond that, technical specifications are murky.
• Palm fronds: Feverishly recommend by Capt. Mostmilk it remains unclear why this addition was necessary. The scientific evidence provided was in support of aeration and improved circulation of warm air around the meat. In retrospect the strategy proved to be utter and complete rubbish and in accordance with Camp Happiness bylaws Mostmilk had been soundly garroted at sunrise following the “incident”.
• Pitfalls: Down in a pig mine, variables to be considered should include but are not limited to; 1) size of pig meat, 2) size of fire, 3) size of pig pit. As strong southern winds began to batter the campsite, warning signs of impending disaster had already become obvious. An unholy stink began to emit from the fire and billow through the increasingly flapping tapestries. Early guesses were that burning, rotten wood was the culprit of the putrid funk and shortly after, cabbage palms fronds were to blame. Eventually the winds and smell of hot death receded and the campers resigned to their yurts with dreams of soft pork dancing in their heads.

Of course, the obvious truth was that the smell emitting from the fire accompanied the screaming death throes of the pork as it boiled and disintegrated in it’s own molten grease. As we slept through the night, the leg of fresh pig meat was incinerated so long and hot that its aluminum foil cocoon turned into a fiery coffin and supper devolved into a small pile of burnt ozone and powdered ash. It was almost hard to believe the chemical change on the cellular level that took place during the night, turning the entire pig leg into a nightmare lump of stinking grey powder. I guess you go hungry. Baw, baw, baw.

Due to requests by the family, presentation photos of the entree are unavailable to the public. Keep up with Nail Travels this summer as we continue to send you more quality campfire recipes from our mobile HQ at the Sprit of Suwannee Music Park. Check out our article on the upcoming Wanee Festival April 20-22, 2017 for photos, line-up, ticket and camping information.

Weirdness lives here.

Visit our other contributions from Live Oak with Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits and check out what’s happening at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park.

originally published on April 10, 2017

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Hey tater-head, I’m talking to you. Sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sometimes bad people happen to good things. You never know what kind of unhinged cracker is going to pull up next to your campfire and make themselves at home like it’s all snowballs and fruitcakes on Christmas Day in Mayberry. This is a weird life and you are hardly creative enough to  come up with this kind silliness on your own. You must have had some help. Give it up and show me what you’ve got in your pockets. Sometimes enough isn’t enough. Sometimes no means f’sho no. Back up bro because you are in my hula-hoop. Just because you occasionally make bad choices doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person, but it may be an indicator light that won’t turn off. It’s not too late. Go on. Save yourself. Lord knows you’ve earned it.

Easy guy. That isn’t what anyone really wants. Come Grasshopper. Calm your busy mind and let everything fall away into peace and beautiful, blissful slumber. The Watcher, as many of his flock call him, would say that there is a river in the sea and all you have to do is find it. If you get there and it’s full of plastic toothbrushes and flip flops, you’ve gone too far. You’re in the gyre. Find your way to some solid ground and prepare thyself for Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits Recipe. Because there is a season to eat the fish and another to eat the bait.

We look to Big Mamou and his church, the House of the Velvet  Way as the legitimate spiritual signpost for cosmogonical guidance. Like the tiny acorn looks to the mighty ceiling fan, so will we. Do you enjoy camping and crying out loud with other adults? If so, then sign up today for one of their individually designed, therapeutic Discovery Weekends. All programs are uniquely tailored with your spiritual needs in mind. Choose from one of this month’s available deluxe therapy opportunities; “The Limits of Chemical Camping”, the first-timers favorite, “Why Do We Say No?” Mountaintop Retreat Message, and our independent study book selection, “Science, Grouse, and God”. If you happen to still be around on Sunday, get ready for a treat and catch Big Mamou demonstrate the sacred and holy “dance of dissemblance” as he supervises the removal of his training tent and pleasure palace.

THE BIG MAMOU LIVE OAK CAMPING BREAKDOWN METHOD:

• Safety: The first priority is on safety of yourself and other members of the flock. Breaking down a campsite can be a very traumatic event. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, then you can’t be good for anyone else. Find a safe spot in which to sit. Preferably one with a clear visual line of site and accessible exits. Sit Indian-style* and allow someone to tie kite sting in a perimeter around you. Give yourself at least 2-3 feet on either side. Hang jingly bells on the string as an extra security precaution to ensure no one is able to sneak up on you. (*racist?)

• Precautions: It’s quite obvious that some law enforcement agency is coming for you. What can you do but stem the awful tide and just stick the broken tip of your wooden clog in the dyke? There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped.  Sometimes an instance rises whereby an individual must be taken into custody under the mental health law in Florida and sent for an involuntary psychiatric examination. Being Baker Acted can be very scary for people and their friends and family. An adult may only be held up to 72 hours for an involuntary examination, so if you feel it’s unavoidable, the best policy is to begin the process as soon as possible. That way, you can rejoin the festivities make yourself available to further debauchery all that much sooner.
• Precautions part 2: Be wary of unannounced strangers when they approach your campsite. These vagabonds are not there to merely play music or converse. To the contrary, they bring malcontent and the need to sew the very seeds of disharmony. They should be dealt with seriousness and clear intent. When being approached by a potential assailant, speak in a loud, clear voice and make your intentions known. Say, “You are not welcome and I am prepared to defend myself with deadly force if necessary”. If that doesn’t convince them to turn and walk the other way, then they deserve what’s coming.
• Breakdown:
  (1.) Clean out vehicle and prepare for return packing. Sweep out mats and refill wiper fluid. (2.) Walk camping area and pick up all loose trash. Dispose in proper container. Separate recyclables. (3.) Obtain a container of lighter fluid. Douse all camping equipment including tables and canopies. Ignite and drive away at unsafe speeds.

Feelin a little thin in the skin? From the Great Blue Hole of Belize to Brown’s Hole in Utah, generations of Mamou shaman have used this delicious recipe to decorate the innards of their chosen people. Now, the tradition falls to you.

You can absolutely taste the love and work in each bite. Unless you don’t care much or try very hard. In that case, replace those ingredients with a dash of apathy and a 2 tablespoons of severe disgust.

• The Foreign Legion Years: Life aboard a caravan is never cheese and rice when you’re constantly being hassled by a tribe of dirty Bedouin traders. That was the situation in the early nineties on the silk road, where conflict had risen it’s ugly head between the cities of Kashgar and Aksu, and the local economies were beginning to suffer. As their parents had done a generation before them, village elders called for the Mamou. Because of his influence,  experience, and a reputation for fair play and goodwill, he was brought in to help the villagers adjust to the new plan. Before it was all over, the men who had not converted had their skulls placed on pig poles and decorated with figs and berries by village children. Most of the women were traded for cattle, tobacco and sugar and their children were sent off to work in the gyre.

INTERMISSION

 The Blue Hole Period: During those turbulent seasons aboard the Gay Clipper, Mamou dealt heavily in the Honduras white slave trade and ran contraband oysters from the Mosquito Coast up to the Yucatan Peninsula, leaving a trail of illegitimate illiterates scattered along the way. Constant territorial conflicts with the surrounding Garifuna pirates resulted in heavy financial losses and the closing of several of his cruise ships. In light of the recent Belize Government scandal, Mamou and his “paramour companion” have been indited along with several high-ranking city officials. Several arrests have been made and a deportation order has been issued by the Belizean Government. At this time of this printing, his whereabouts remain unknown.

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This is a recipe for black bean soup that is made thicker and used as a dip with fried plantains, Costa Rica style. Pantacones con frigoles negros es muy bueno. 

Maybe you don’t know. Perhaps you’ve never smelled the sulfur at Las Poas or heard the rumbling of Volcan Arenal. No? Never driven around Lake Arenal or knocked back from Guaro on the beaches of Playa Tamarindo? Well that needs to change. From Monteverde to Rincon de Vieja fried plantains dipped in black beans is the appetizer typical. It’s Costa Rican Black Bean Dip.

Lurk through a mountain rain forest or surf world-class breaks amidst coconut palms and royal poincianas. Was that the clacking of a toucan and what exactly is a coatimundi?

BLACK BEAN SOUP

Author: Lucienda Rosalita

Recipe type: side

Prep time:  30 mins

Cook time:  30 mins

Total time:  1 hour

INGREDIENTS

• 2 T Vegetable oil
• 1 Cup diced white onions
• 1 Cup celery
• ½ Diced carrots
• ½ Cup diced green pepper
• ½ Cup diced jalapenos
• 2 T Minced garlic
• 4 Cans black beans
• 4 Cups chicken stock
• 2 T apple cider vinegar
• 2 t Chili powder
• ½ t Red pepper
• ½ t Cumin
• ½ t Salt
• ¼ t Hickory liquid smoke

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Heat oil in a large saucepan
2. Saute vegetables and simmer until soft
3. Strain beans under cool water
4. Mix 3 cups of broth with vegetables
5. Add beans and puree in a blender or food processor
6. Heat to a boil and then reduce to a simmer

Top this black bean soup with sour cream, Nicaraguan cream sauce, or garlic aioli.

Visit our recipe for Fried Plantains Costa Rican style.

Add or subtract broth depending on how thick you want your black beans. Thinner for soup, thicker for dip. Easy peasy.

Thanks for joining the wook wrangler family. Stay tuned for Ma Roux’s cornbread and Granny’s Homemade Coconut Cake. Keep up as we head south to the Suwannee River to join the “already in progress” Florida festival season.

It only gets better.

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Fried plantains Costa Rican style are also known as pantacones. Each country and region has it’s own style of preparing plantains, and while each is awesome, this is the superior method. The pantacones are soft on the inside and a little crispy on the outside when you dip them into the black beans. Dios mio. Pay attention, por favor.

MAKING PANTACONES

• Green Plantains: Find the greenest plantains for pantacones. When making buttery, sugary, plantains, yellow moldy is the word. As the plantain turns yellow, the starch turns to sugar and they get soft and sweet, like me. Unripe plantains can be smooshed but they still hold their shape while frying. Don’t believe me? Just try it.
• Black Beans: Mushed up black beans is the business. If you like it saucy, top it with some sour cream Nicaraguan cream sauce, or garlic ailoi. Some recipes call for a food processor but I use a hand blender, which can be used to make apple butter, so there you go. Use this black bean recipe when it’s time to roll.
• Arenal: Consider taking a jaunt to Arenal Volcan in the central highlands of Costa Rica. The lake and the surrounding mountains are home to some of the most scenic regions of the country. While staying in the Epcot of Central America, play on the lake, take a walk with the hummingbirds along a cloud forest trail, or find your way to a restaurant and enjoy some authentic pantacones. You’re in Costa Rica. You can’t lose. It’s almost fancy pants. 

The black bean recipe calls for a ton of vegetables. You might even slather it with Nicaraguan cream sauce. Note the jalapeno peppers. Don’t make the mistake of cooking food without them. I did that once and I am still paying for it everyday. Every single day.

Thickness of your cuts will determine how large your cakes will be. Some recipes soak the plantains in water for some time before cooking. This can help your cakes form into pretty round things. I enjoy the crispy, edges of this recipe.

The nailtravels kitchen used canola oil for this recipe but any type will do. Experiment!

FRIED PLANTAINS COSTA RICAN STYLE

Author: Jason Nail

Recipe type: Appetizer

Cuisine: Spanish

Prep time:  10 mins

Cook time:  10 mins

Total time:  20 mins

INGREDIENTS

• Green plantains
• Cooking oil
• Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Peel unripe plantains and cut into two inch segments. The larger you cut your pieces the bigger your chips will be.
2. Heat enough oil to cover the bottom of the skillet.
3. On medium/ high heat cook plantains pieces on both side (about three minutes on each side) don’t let them burn.
4. Set on wire rack to cool
5. Put oil on the bottom of a plate. Set a plantain on it. Slather anther plate with oil and push down on the top, crushing the plantain into a cake.
6. Fry all of the plantains again on both sides to desired crispiness. It’s that easy.
7. Let cool on wire rack.
8. Salt to taste.

Cook them for varying amounts of time to decide if you enjoy them soft of with a crunchier texture. Don’t worry about reheating them. They taste fine cold. So do the black beans.

Viola!

Serve with some kind of pretty garnish. I like parsley or cilantro. This is a relatively simple dish to prepare and it gets rave reviews. Pull this off and you’ll be on your way to the cochina suprema.

All work and no play makes John a dull boy.

Visit our other fusion recipes like Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

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