Fusion Recipes Archives - wook wranglers https://wookwranglers.com/category/fusion-recipes/ Online magazine devoted to music festivals, lifestyles, fusion recipes, original art and all manner of wookish delights. Thu, 01 Dec 2022 22:09:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 https://i0.wp.com/wookwranglers.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Screenshot-2020-10-22-at-10.00.48-PM-e1603722888544.png?fit=27%2C32&ssl=1 Fusion Recipes Archives - wook wranglers https://wookwranglers.com/category/fusion-recipes/ 32 32 171121953 Granny’s Homemade Coconut Cake https://wookwranglers.com/grannys-homemade-coconut-cake/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=grannys-homemade-coconut-cake Tue, 08 Dec 2020 16:20:23 +0000 https://wookwranglers.com/?p=1427 Some things are easy. Like pie, Earth girls and Sunday morning. Homemade coconut cake is...

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This recipe was shared by Mary Jewel on Thanksgiving 2012 from an older recipe that belonged to her Granny and was dated 9/20/62. Who knows where it came from before that.

Big Deals: Start with flour, end with flour. Put in one egg at a time. Beat in between eggs.

GRANNY’S HOMEMADE COCONUT CAKE
Author: Jason Nail
Recipe type: Dessert
Prep time:  
Cook time:  
Total time:  
Simply put, the world’s greatest homemade coconut cake. Good luck.
INGREDIENTS
  • 3 Cups plain flour
  • ¾ Cup unsalted butter
  • 2 Cups sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 rounded teaspoons baking powder
  • ¾ teaspoon salt
  • 1 Cup milk
  • ½ teaspoon lemon extract
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • —————————————————————————————————————————
  • 7 Minute Frosting
  • 11/2 sugar
  • 2 unbeaten egg whites
  • 5 tablespoons cold water
  • 1 teaspoon light corn syrup
  • 2 tablespoons marshmallow cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • I package coconut
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. cream butter until soft
  2. mix sugar with butter slowly on medium speed (add just a little sugar at a time)
  3. add eggs to mix one egg at a time. mix them in nicely in between each egg
  4. turn down mixer to lowest speed
  5. combine salt and baking powder with flour
  6. combine extracts with milk
  7. mix flour and milk into sugar mix (begin with a little flour and then add milk, repeat.
  8. Start with flour, end with flour. I don’t know why. I don’t ask.
  9. Keep pulling the mix off the sides of the bowl
  10. Spray three cake pans with no stick spray. bang them on the counter to get out all the air bubbles
  11. cook at 325 for 20 minutes
  12. take them out and let them sit for a couple minutes, then dump them out onto wire cooling racks
  13. The hard part is behind you. Keep going.
  14. layer the cakes with seven minute icing and coconut
  15. Shave coconut or dump it out of the bag, depending on your commitment
  16. Seven Minute Frosting
  17. This works best in a double boiler. If you don’t have one, use a stew pot and place a metal bowl on top of it.
  18. Mix all ingredients. beat to blend well. Lower pot should contain rapidly boiling water
  19. Beat with rotary egg beater until icing is standing into peaks
  20. Remove upper pan from heat, add flavoring and beat on high until spreadable
  21. Add marshmallow cream and vanilla

Like the recipe states, you can use bagged coconut, but if you want to light things up in Jefferson County, you will need to find a grater. This job can be assigned to children or your uncle if needed. Just know that pieces of flesh will be grinded into the coconut, so find someone with clean hands.

This is something you’ll want to practice a bit until you get it perfect. Then you’ll be able to show up to parties holding a cake pan full of the finest southern baked goods this side of the Mississippi. They will literally sing celebration ballads of your victories.

Thanks for making the wranglers your stop for homemade southern recipes. We’ve invite you to explore our other cake, biscuit, and cornbread recipes. Be sure to visit our Cajun Chicken and Dumplins Recipe.

Originally published September 28, 2015.

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Tex Mex Egg Rolls https://wookwranglers.com/tex-mex-egg-rolls/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tex-mex-egg-rolls Sun, 11 Oct 2020 14:52:17 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=707 These Tex Mex Egg Rolls are slimy, spicy and delicious. Flour tortillas filled with chicken,...

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Tex Mex Egg Rolls

Recipe type: Appetizer
Cuisine: Tex Mex
Prep time:  
Cook time:  
Total time:  
Serves: 10
INGREDIENTS
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 small chicken
  • 1 minced onion
  • 1 minced red bell pepper
  • 1 tablespoon hot sauce
  • ½ cup frozen corn kernels
  • ½ cup black beans, rinsed and drained
  • ½ tablespoons frozen chopped spinach
  • 2 diced jalapeno peppers
  • 1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley
  • 1 teaspoon ground cumin
  • 1 teaspoon chili powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
  • ¾ cup shredded Monterrey Jack cheese
  • 10 (6 inch) flour tortillas
  • 1 quart oil for deep frying
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Boil chicken with salt or chicken broth on 350, about 30 min and set aside.
  2. Heat 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat.
  3. Stir in green onion and red pepper. Cook and stir 5 minutes, until tender.
  4. Dice chicken and mix into the pan with onion and red pepper.
  5. Mix in corn, black beans, spinach, jalapeno peppers, parsley, cumin, chili powder, salt and cayenne pepper.
  6. Cook and stir 5 minutes, until well blended and tender. Remove from heat and stir in Monterey Jack cheese so that it melts.
  7. Spoon mixture into each tortilla and roll. Brush the inner edges with whisked egg.
  8. Cover with plastic, and place in the freezer at least 4 hours.
  9. In a large, deep skillet, heat oil for deep frying to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Deep fry frozen, stuffed tortillas on 375 for about ten minutes each, or until dark golden brown.
  10. Drain..

The egg rolls are best served with this avocado ranch dipping sauce. Boom. Just like the rolls, make it before and save it in the fridge.

Avocado Ranch Recipe

1 fresh avocado
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayo
1 tbsp buttermilk
3 tsp white vinegar
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp Badia all purpose seasoning
1/8 tsp dried dill weed
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
dash of cayenne

hot sauce to taste

Be sure to visit our other fusion recipes including Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

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Decatur White Sauce https://wookwranglers.com/decatur-white-sauce/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=decatur-white-sauce Tue, 29 Sep 2020 19:32:14 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=714 Welcome to Decatur, Alabama. “The River City” sits snuggled between Huntsville and Muscle Shoals in...

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Welcome to Decatur, Alabama. “The River City” sits snuggled between Huntsville and Muscle Shoals in North Alabama, on the banks of Wheeler Lake and the Tennessee River. One thing that makes this place special is their local tradition of white barbecue sauce. Everyone here grows up on it and as far as they know, it’s the only way to go.

White barbecue sauce has been around for ages and is little more than a tanged up mayonnaise with extra pluck and grit. It’s perfect for slimy, barbecue ribs, but can be slathered over just about anything from catfish to cat poop.

This zesty sauce is perfect for dipping, marinating, and basting. Use a brush and cover your chicken as it grills. If you can think of it, it works with this sauce. Meatballs, grilled fish, and shrimp get an added vinegar/horseradish flavor that is slap-yo-mama good. Use it as a topping for pulled pork sandwiches and a dip for East Nashville Hot Chicken.

 

Decatur White Sauce Recipe

INGREDIENTS
  • ½ cup mayonnaise
  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • ½ teaspoon lemon juice
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 teaspoon prepared horseradish
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon black pepper
  • ⅛ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 1 dash hot sauce
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Mix all ingredients and add tablespoons of water until desired consistency
  2. Keep refrigerated
  3. Creole or Dijon mustard may be added for flavor.
  4. White wine vinegar may be substituted for apple cider vinegar.

Purists such as Myra Grissom, owner of Miss Myra’s Pit Bar-B-Q in Birmingham, declare there are only four ingredients: mayonnaise, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Vary your ingredients and decide which style yall like the best. Some folks use more water, while others use skim milk. Our test kitchen preferred the heat that came with extra horseradish and hot sauce.

Decatur white sauce is also perfect for a table dipping sauce. Don’t be afraid to try it with jalapeno poppers. The kids like dipping french fries and hush puppies in it routinely. Be sure to check out these and other wrangler recipes for Beef Short Ribs and Ma Roux’s Hush Puppies. They will get you started on the road to southern cooking excellence.

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Coconut Curry Thai Soup (Crack Soup) https://wookwranglers.com/coconut-curry-thai-soup-crack-soup/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=coconut-curry-thai-soup-crack-soup Tue, 25 Aug 2020 17:39:54 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=523 Welcome back to the secret journal of the High Country. It’s unseasonably warm in the...

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Welcome back to the secret journal of the High Country. It’s unseasonably warm in the land of the Ginseng colada and the black lung. You can thank global warming, just like in Estes Park. It’s Trump’s fault. Don’t worry fellow snowboarders, there’s snow on Beech Mountain. You can still carve the pow.

Lightning bugs are endangered? We’ll need see more data on that one. Even in Honduras? Hmmm… In north central Alabama? Loss of habitat? Plenty of green there. Lightning bugs flourish where children grow. For a panther, yes. But a lightning bug? And manatees are making a come back. Exactly how long until barbecued manatee ribs are back on the menu? Can you imagine? The only thing they eat is salty grass and they’re monstrous. Naturally the little ones would taste better.

It’s the Coconut Curry Thai Soup recipe. The first new recipe in a while. Straight from Boone with some fusion twists. This is straight up Thai medicine, by way of High Country.


Coconut Curry Thai Soup (Crack Soup)
Author: 
Recipe type: Entree
 
Ingredients
  • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  • 2 tablespoons grated fresh ginger
  • 1 stalk lemon grass, minced
  • 2 teaspoons red curry paste
  • 4 cups chicken broth
  • 3 tablespoons fish sauce
  • 1 tablespoon light brown sugar
  • 2 (13.5 ounce) cans coconut milk
  • ½ pound fresh shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 pound medium shrimp - peeled and deveined
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
  • salt to taste
  • ¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro
Instructions
  1. Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat.
  2. Cook and stir the ginger, lemongrass, and curry paste in the heated oil for 1 minute.
  3. Slowly pour the chicken broth over the mixture, stirring continually.
  4. Stir in the fish sauce and brown sugar; simmer for 15 minutes.
  5. Stir in the coconut milk and mushrooms; cook and stir until the mushrooms are soft, about 5 minutes.
  6. Add the shrimp; cook until no longer translucent about 5 minutes.
  7. Stir in the lime juice; season with salt; garnish with cilantro.

 

 

 

Fuzzy Photo Alert!: At the Full Moon Gathering last year an ADA transport vehicle was seen being used to harvest large slabs of firewood and embryonic stem cells. Be sure to visit the Puerto Rican Mofongo recipe.

You’ll figure out why it’s called crack soup.

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Puerto Rican Mofongo Recipe https://wookwranglers.com/puerto-rican-mofongo-recipe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=puerto-rican-mofongo-recipe Tue, 05 May 2020 14:42:51 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=709 Straight from the archives comes this family original from Victor the neighborhood sadist. Remember when...

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Straight from the archives comes this family original from Victor the neighborhood sadist. Remember when it comes to upset Puerto Rican woman, there are three phases. The first is angry English, next comes angry Spanish then lastly comes fast angry Spanish. At that point you should duck because the flying knife will be coming. Welcome to our Puerto Rican Mofongo Recipe.

Mofongo is an Afro-Puerto Rican dish with plantains as its main ingredient. Plantains are picked green and mashed with salt and water in a wooden pilón, The object is to produce mashed plantains that absorb the attending condiments and have either pork cracklings (Chicharrón) or bits of bacon inside.

Puerto Ricans are a fine choice for friendly entertainment for a number of reasons. 1. They enjoy fun and frivolity so where you find them, there are good times close by. 2. They are feisty to the core so you rarely have to worry about getting beat up. Like guys from Boston, they love to mix it up, even the girls. Especially the girls. Your only question will be when you should drag your friend off the person he is turning into smooshed plantains.

The Mofongo’s roots come from the western African Fufu, mixed with Spanish and Taíno influences. Fufu is made from various starchy vegetables and was introduced to the Caribbean by Africans in the Spanish New World colonies. The origin of mofongo can be traced back to Puerto Rico.

TIPS TO MAKING MOFONGO

  • Plantains: Unripe, green plantains make the meal here. Plantains’ starch becomes sugar overtime. When this happens, save them for plantains cooked in butter.
  • Preparation: Peel plantains and cut into 1 inch segments. Prepare boiling water with a dash of salt.
  • Boil: Cook in boiling water until plantains are tender (about ten minutes)
  • Mash: Plantains in large mixing bowl and set aside.
  • Cook: 3 Tablespoons of garlic until tender (about two minutes)
  • Mix: Garlic with plantains. Crunch up a Cup of fried pork rinds and mix in.

Use the plantains as a filling in a small bowl like a pie crust. Add the chicken or beans into the plantain bowl and enjoy.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Visit http://wp.me/p5fyfz-yc for Vic’s #PuertoRico #mofongo #recipe #foodie #foodporn

A post shared by Jason Nail (@nailtravels) on

Puerto Rican Beans

2 cans small red bean

2 cans water

1 chopped potato

1/2 can tomato sauce

med thin sliced onion

T cilantro, T oregano, 2 T Adobo, 2 t Sazon, 2 t black pepper

2 T Sofrito (if you can find it)

1 t onion powder

Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer

 

VIC’S FAMILY CHICKEN

1 whole chicken (cut up)

2 med onions diced

package Sazon

1 T All purpose seasoning

2 cans tomato sauce

5 cubed skinned potatoes

2 t garlic powder

1-2 t black pepper

Use just enough water to cover ingredients.

Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer

For added thickness add 1 T tomato paste

This Mofongo recipe can go with other meats such as cubed beef or ribs. Tradition calls for any kind of leftovers to be used.

See this article on cooking fried plantains Costa Rican style.

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Ma Roux’s Blue Ribbon Macaroni and Cheese Recipe https://wookwranglers.com/ma-rouxs-blue-ribbon-macaroni-and-cheese-recipe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ma-rouxs-blue-ribbon-macaroni-and-cheese-recipe Wed, 25 Mar 2020 19:47:20 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=716 You’ve waited long enough and the time is finally here. Ma Roux’s Blue Ribbon Macaroni...

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You’ve waited long enough and the time is finally here. Ma Roux’s Blue Ribbon Macaroni and Cheese Recipe has been a staple side dish in the family for many years. There’s no such thing as one helping. This gravy-based recipe has many faces, but the one here represents the core of the dish. Use it as a starting point and create your own versions that include a unique touch.

This recipe is all about the roux, which is the browning of flour in fat. It’s the creamy sauce that makes the base for this recipe. When it’s all said and done,  you are layering the pasta, sauce, and cheese. It’s as easy as that.

MA ROUX’S BLUE RIBBON MACARONI AND CHEESE RECIPE
Author: Ma Roux
Recipe type: side
Cuisine: American?
Prep time:  
Cook time:  
Total time:  
Serves: 6
INGREDIENTS
  • 1 Box (8 oz.) pasta shells
  • 1 lb Monterrey Jack/Colby Jack cheese
  • ¼ Cup oil
  • 2 T flour
  • 1 Small onion (chopped)
  • 1 T garlic (diced)
  • 2 Cup milk
  • 2 Chicken bouillon cubes
  • salt and pepper
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. cook pasta as directed with one chicken bouillon cube
  2. set aside
  3. heat oil in skillet on medium-low
  4. saute garlic and onion until tender
  5. add flour and cook until brown
  6. add milk slowly and cook until thickened
  7. add salt and pepper
  8. grate cheese
  9. layer pasta, cheese, and sauce
  10. top with cheese
  11. bake covered for 30 minutes on 350
  12. remove lid or aluminum foil for the last ten minutes

Boursin, Brie or Alluete herb cheese also make great additions. Add a few tablespoons to the sauce or drop into the pasta while mixing.

WHAT CAN YOU ADD TO YOUR MAC AND CHEESE

  • Jalapeno: Yes, and yes. Join the movement as we help the jalapeno pepper take over the world.
  • Pablano pepper: Move over green pepper, we’re done with you.
  • Sausage: This takes things from the side dish to the main course. This recipe can also be made and frozen ahead of time and is perfect for camping.
  • Spinach: Fresh spinach should be added to the sauce so it can cook a little while before baking
  • Shallot: With a milder flavor than onions, shallots offer a fancier mood for the palate.

 

You can use this white roux for many other sauce recipes. Play with the spices and give it your own special favor. Don’t be afraid to play with the cheese, as well. There are countless variations and you shouldn’t rest until you’ve tried them all.

Be sure to visit some of our other wrangler recipes like Cajun Chicken and Dumplings and Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

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Twice Blackened Hog Leg Recipe https://wookwranglers.com/twice-blackened-hog-leg-recipe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=twice-blackened-hog-leg-recipe Sat, 29 Feb 2020 20:57:46 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=720 “With your head down in the pig bin, Saying “Keep on digging” Pig stain on...

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“With your head down in the pig bin, Saying “Keep on digging”

Pig stain on your fat chin, What do you hope to find? When you’re down in a pig mine.

You’re nearly a laugh. You’re nearly a laugh, but you’re really a cry”. Pigs (Three Different Ones)

Amidst moister weather, the manzanitas are coming up roses at the Dead Cat pleasure palace at the base of the sacred Poncho Tree. The fire wood has been pillaged and the cooler is mysteriously full of ice and an obscene slab of Florida wild hog. How many hillbillies does it take to cook up a fat piece of boar over an open fire? Pay attention dear reader. The secret is in the land down under. Not the over. It’s time to get down in the pig mine. Dig that pig pit. Chuck in the flesh. Cover it with fire. Now you’re cooking with disco. With a crack team of culinary experts on hand, how hard could it possibly be? Welcome to Twice Blackened Hog Leg Recipe.

The nailtravels summer road trip is underway and while extended primitive camping has erased any concrete sense of time, our action scout team has hunkered down for a month of woodland homesteading at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park in Live Oak, Florida. With all the leftover folks from Suwannee Spring Reunion packed up and split, the campground has quieted down and our mobile headquarters is currently located on the edge of the farm field, complete with a front yard frisbee patch and nightly campfire music. The gypsy caravan is snugly homesteaded catty corner from the largest bat house in the country. Welcome to Bartertown. We’re here to find out if guano can be used to fuel a Coleman lantern.

Complete with Oriental rugs and silken drapes, the tent city HQ remains unmatched in it’s glamping stylings and continues to be a favorite photo spot for tourists. Windsock mullets and colored tapestries unfurl from the oak branches while the rest of the compound is complete with all the finest festival camouflage. Like a tribe of Bedouin spice merchants, a cautious alliance has formed with the local residents as the colorful band continues to blend in with the oak hammock backdrop.

In preparation for the unavoidable occurrence of inclimate weather, this year’s production staff replaced the rain tarps and ropes with feathers, scarves and Mardi Gras beads. The additions provided a much needed, inviting softness to the entire site and following a three-day deluge, collected nicely into clumped rivers of blue glitter and broken glass. The clogged streams of soaked hammocks and broken guitars formed a limp tributary which trickled all the way to the Suwannee River, prompting an investigation by the Environment Protection Agency to assess any long-term, environmental damage.

Private Pink Floyd show, Amphitheater Stage SOSMP: photo by Spacebug.

In an effort to find shelter from the the storm, we ended up on the amphitheater stage of the music park. One of the best concert venues in the country and usually littered with hammocks and folding chairs, the late night solo concert was played to a packed house of turkey oaks. The 2 am show was truly memorable as lightning flashes and high winds accompanied an acoustic set of Pink Floyd classics.

There is a return to some semblance of normalcy with the warmth of the morning sun and as things get back under par, we arrive at one of our favorite pastimes; preparing our meals over a roaring campfire. Hobo burgers, spit chicken, and roasted Peeps showcased the chef’s specials on this week’s sunset menu and the entree selection got an unexpected addition after Spacebug, driving our rented golf cart with a full head full of bennies and small barrel whiskey, attempted a high-speed power slide into the starboard side of a wild, feral hog. The sounds of shattering bone and fiberglass could barley be heard over the collective screams of both man and beast. Hours later, after dragging the broken carcass home, through miles of Florida swamp, the bug arrived at camp, covered in tendrils of bright pig’s blood and specks of marrow, eager to get started on some serious cracker cuisine.

Twice Blackened Hog Leg Recipe

TWICE BLACKENED HOG LEG RECIPE

Author: Pine Island Phil
Recipe type: redneck gibberish
Cuisine: cracker
Prep time:  
Cook time:  
Total time:  
Serves: 15
This smokey interpretation of a timeless pork classic takes some time and creativity, but the proof is in the pudding. It is best served with an Oriental rice pilaf and a chilled Paisano-parachute cocktail.
INGREDIENTS
  • 1 T kosher salt
  • 1 T Creole seaoning
  • 2 T cracked black pepper
  • 2 T white peppers
  • 1 chopped Spanish onions
  • 1 chopped garlic clove
  • 3 diced ghost peppers
  • ½ gallon Louisiana hot sauce
  • 1 cup apple cider vinegar
  • ½ cup dried and finely chopped Humboldt County organic blueberry kush
  • ½ oz crumbled crystal methamphetamine dry rub
  • ⅛ cup 10-10-10 palm tree fertilizer
  • 3 T clover honey
  • 1 T fresh thyme
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Prepare pig with ingredients and wrap in an aluminum foil cocoon
  2. Remove existing campfire
  3. Dig a North Florida cracker-style pig pit (a hole)
  4. Cover the bottom with a layer of coals
  5. Add a layer of palm fronds (saw palmettos are advisable but cabbage palms will work in a pinch)
  6. Insert fatback
  7. Cover with another layer of hot coals
  8. Add a layer of sand
  9. Build a new fire on top of existing structure
  10. Allow fire to burn for seventeen hours
  11. Dig up perfectly prepared pig meat
  12. Eat like starving savages

“I got your box. I picked the lock. I got in your box. Busted locks I’m inside your box. I’m looking at your pictures of your old cluttered box. Whew, this new box looks really GOOD on you. By the way, I love your new shoes. And your new recipe for blackened BABY ribs.”  Excerpt from “The Lost Trails of Moss and Fails” 1712

How To Make A Suwannee River Pig Pit:

  • Pig Pit: Apparently no one on this staff knows how deep one should be. Ours was about a foot and a half deep and it seems as though that might have been a bit too shallow. If you’re not sure, there are certain tell-tale signs for which to be aware. For starters, it should probably be bigger than a bread basket. Beyond that, technical specifications are murky.
  • Palm fronds: Feverishly recommend by Capt. Mostmilk it remains unclear why this addition was necessary. The scientific evidence provided was in support of aeration and improved circulation of warm air around the meat. In retrospect the strategy proved to be utter and complete rubbish and in accordance with Camp Happiness bylaws Mostmilk had been soundly garroted at sunrise following the “incident”.
  • Pitfalls: Down in a pig mine, variables to be considered should include but are not limited to; 1) size of pig meat, 2) size of fire, 3) size of pig pit. As strong southern winds began to batter the campsite, warning signs of impending disaster had already become obvious. An unholy stink began to emit from the fire and billow through the increasingly flapping tapestries. Early guesses were that burning, rotten wood was the culprit of the putrid funk and shortly after, cabbage palms fronds were to blame. Eventually the winds and smell of hot death receded and the campers resigned to their yurts with dreams of soft pork dancing in their heads.

Of course, the obvious truth was that the smell emitting from the fire accompanied the screaming death throes of the pork as it boiled and disintegrated in it’s own molten grease. As we slept through the night, the leg of fresh pig meat was incinerated so long and hot that its aluminum foil cocoon turned into a fiery coffin and supper devolved into a small pile of burnt ozone and powdered ash. It was almost hard to believe the chemical change on the cellular level that took place during the night, turning the entire pig leg into a nightmare lump of stinking grey powder. I guess you go hungry. Baw, baw, baw.

Due to requests by the family, presentation photos of the entree are unavailable to the public. Keep up with Nail Travels this summer as we continue to send you more quality campfire recipes from our mobile HQ at the Sprit of Suwannee Music Park. Check out our article on the upcoming Wanee Festival April 20-22, 2017 for photos, line-up, ticket and camping information.

Weirdness lives here.

Visit our other contributions from Live Oak with Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits and check out what’s happening at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park.

originally published on

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Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits Recipe https://wookwranglers.com/big-mamous-shrimp-and-grits-recipe/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=big-mamous-shrimp-and-grits-recipe Sat, 22 Feb 2020 17:39:57 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=718 Ahoy seamen, and welcome back to the 2017 Summer Tour. Losses for the Horchata Armada...

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Ahoy seamen, and welcome back to the 2017 Summer Tour. Losses for the Horchata Armada have steadily mounted and casualties have been assessed. Take us to Def-Con 2. Get me the president on the horn. Full steam ahead. Damn the torpedoes and while your at it, put down that silly saber and enjoy some oysters and champagne. Lucy the useless intern has graduated from being terrible at working sound to also being terrible at packing gear. Some heathen left our white table at the Hollywood Bowl. Thanks Alex and A.J., that one came from Hulaween. She’s gotten all jumpy and wired and she wants to stay in the A.W. all the time. She may have gotten into my drugs but I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell anymore. I think she’s hearing all the chipmunks and whatever the hell is in the Saddle Mountain Recreational Area. It all looks like some elvish village to me. I’m starting to get a little wierded out is all and if, for one second, those elves come a knockin, I know for a fact the cedars will blow up like a powder keg. Welcome to Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits Recipe.

Hey tater-head, I’m talking to you. Sometimes good things happen to bad people. Sometimes bad people happen to good things. You never know what kind of unhinged cracker is going to pull up next to your campfire and make themselves at home like it’s all snowballs and fruitcakes on Christmas Day in Mayberry. This is a weird life and you are hardly creative enough to  come up with this kind silliness on your own. You must have had some help. Give it up and show me what you’ve got in your pockets. Sometimes enough isn’t enough. Sometimes no means f’sho no. Back up bro because you are in my hula-hoop. Just because you occasionally make bad choices doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person, but it may be an indicator light that won’t turn off. It’s not too late. Go on. Save yourself. Lord knows you’ve earned it.

Easy guy. That isn’t what anyone really wants. Come Grasshopper. Calm your busy mind and let everything fall away into peace and beautiful, blissful slumber. The Watcher, as many of his flock call him, would say that there is a river in the sea and all you have to do is find it. If you get there and it’s full of plastic toothbrushes and flip flops, you’ve gone too far. You’re in the gyre. Find your way to some solid ground and prepare thyself for Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits Recipe. Because there is a season to eat the fish and another to eat the bait.

“We got a genuine Indian Guru who’s teaching us a better way”               S. Silverstein
From the halls of forgotten time, long before the first convergence and the dark time, he has come back to us. But not just to us…to everyone. Emerging like a damaged moth from the forgotten bug-zapping swamps of Kamchakta and the twin mountains that lay in the red clouds beyond, Big Mamou or Mama (in the aboriginal tongue) has finally returned to nailtravels bearing gifts. Having recently returned from a year-long sabbatical in exotic Oklahoma, He has been wrapping up post-production on his first album of original material in over a decade. His simple and timeless message of spiritually braiding the essence of romantic love with constant guilt and physical and emotional discomfort is beautifully expressed through forgotten lyrics, ancient chants with the haunting wail of the Mediterranean skin flute. The mission is : To know a nobler path where, “upon once trod can never be alighted.”
Since the beginning of our mandatory staff training with the kahuna over two and a half years ago and continuing with the healing process now, our spiritual health and professional outlook have never been brighter. The main office commons has, once again, become a hotbed of frivolity and responsible fun. Sorry killjoys, silly is not just for Friday jeans day anymore. Using his patented “Hurt As You Go” method, the successes and testimonials have far outweighed the skeptics. By focusing the power of positive pain and using lost “inside stretching” techniques of the Watusi people, Big Mamou is able to help others unlock the secrets to harnessing their own inner force, or chi, until it spurts out of their ears and dribbles down their back. Hint, hint: Some of the early training modules involve increased shellfish consumption, so the way is clear. If you do not enjoy shrimp, you can never be truly happy. We may have already figured out your problem
The original version of this recipe uses fresh cabbage bats instead of shrimp. They should be cleaned by separating the breast from the wings and head. Be sure to salt the meat as well as the batter, otherwise the batter will have the flavor and the rodent will still be bland.  (Ed. note. If cabbage bats aren’t available, southern pine bats, or adolescent Jackson’s bats will do in a pinch.) If you are unable to trap bats in your locality, simply order your bats online from nailtravels. Stewed, nude, or fried, all our bats come with the a Mississippi, blue-ribbon, quality guarantee. Bulk orders receive discounted shipping and be sure use the code “pigmine” for your free, decorative collector’s tin of select quano just in time for the holidays.

We look to Big Mamou and his church, the House of the Velvet  Way as the legitimate spiritual signpost for cosmogonical guidance. Like the tiny acorn looks to the mighty ceiling fan, so will we. Do you enjoy camping and crying out loud with other adults? If so, then sign up today for one of their individually designed, therapeutic Discovery Weekends. All programs are uniquely tailored with your spiritual needs in mind. Choose from one of this month’s available deluxe therapy opportunities; “The Limits of Chemical Camping”, the first-timers favorite, “Why Do We Say No?” Mountaintop Retreat Message, and our independent study book selection, “Science, Grouse, and God”. If you happen to still be around on Sunday, get ready for a treat and catch Big Mamou demonstrate the sacred and holy “dance of dissemblance” as he supervises the removal of his training tent and pleasure palace.

THE BIG MAMOU LIVE OAK CAMPING BREAKDOWN METHOD:

  • Safety: The first priority is on safety of yourself and other members of the flock. Breaking down a campsite can be a very traumatic event. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, then you can’t be good for anyone else. Find a safe spot in which to sit. Preferably one with a clear visual line of site and accessible exits. Sit Indian-style* and allow someone to tie kite sting in a perimeter around you. Give yourself at least 2-3 feet on either side. Hang jingly bells on the string as an extra security precaution to ensure no one is able to sneak up on you. (*racist?)
  • Precautions: It’s quite obvious that some law enforcement agency is coming for you. What can you do but stem the awful tide and just stick the broken tip of your wooden clog in the dyke? There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped.  Sometimes an instance rises whereby an individual must be taken into custody under the mental health law in Florida and sent for an involuntary psychiatric examination. Being Baker Acted can be very scary for people and their friends and family. An adult may only be held up to 72 hours for an involuntary examination, so if you feel it’s unavoidable, the best policy is to begin the process as soon as possible. That way, you can rejoin the festivities make yourself available to further debauchery all that much sooner.
  • Precautions part 2: Be wary of unannounced strangers when they approach your campsite. These vagabonds are not there to merely play music or converse. To the contrary, they bring malcontent and the need to sew the very seeds of disharmony. They should be dealt with seriousness and clear intent. When being approached by a potential assailant, speak in a loud, clear voice and make your intentions known. Say, “You are not welcome and I am prepared to defend myself with deadly force if necessary”. If that doesn’t convince them to turn and walk the other way, then they deserve what’s coming.
  • Breakdown:
    (1.) Clean out vehicle and prepare for return packing. Sweep out mats and refill wiper fluid. (2.) Walk camping area and pick up all loose trash. Dispose in proper container. Separate recyclables. (3.) Obtain a container of lighter fluid. Douse all camping equipment including tables and canopies. Ignite and drive away at unsafe speeds.

Feelin a little thin in the skin? From the Great Blue Hole of Belize to Brown’s Hole in Utah, generations of Mamou shaman have used this delicious recipe to decorate the innards of their chosen people. Now, the tradition falls to you.

BIG MAMOU’S SHRIMP AND GRITS RECIPE

Author: Scotty Smiles
Recipe type: fusion entree
Cuisine: fusion
Prep time:  
Cook time:  
Total time:  
Serves: 8
Big Mamou’s Shrimp and Grits at its best. Very creamy and muy delicioso.
INGREDIENTS
  • 4 cups of water or shrimp stock.
  • 1 cup of real grits (not polystyrene)
  • 2 cups of mild or sharp cheddar cheese shredded. Use real cheese. (not latex)
  • I prefer mild cheddar as to not overpower the other flavors.
  • 4 tablespoons of real butter (not manufactured)
  • 3 slices of thick cut bacon or 5 slices of regular cut bacon
  • I chop up bacon into small pieces before cooking it but you can always crumble it after cooking it.
  • 1½ pounds of heads-on shrimp or 1 pound cleaned shrimp
  • 2 cloves of chopped garlic
  • 1 cup diced green onions or ½ cup of diced regular onion I prefer the green onions.
  • Juice from 1 large lime
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley or 1 tablespoon dried parsley. I prefer fresh if they have it at the store.
  • Salt and pepper to taste.
  • I prefer to use a stock made with the heads and shells of the shrimp. For this I use 4½ cups of water and let the heads and tails simmer while I am preparing the other ingredients. If you use headless shrimp, at least use the shells to make the stock. Do not bring to a full boil. Use only 4 cups of this shrimp water to prepare the grits with.

INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Remove heads and shells from shrimp and add to 4½ cups of water. Bring to just below boil and then cover and reduce to simmer for at least 10 minutes.
  2. Cook grits per package instructions. If you have a gas stove, turn off the heat. If you are using an electric stove, remove from heat. Add the cheese and butter and then cover tightly. After five minutes stir the melting cheese and butter into the grits.
  3. As the grits are cookin…
  4. Fry bacon per package instructions, remove from pan and save about half the grease. Make sure you drain the bacon well when you remove it from the pan so it stays a bit crispy. Chop or crumble it up if you have not already done so.
  5. Over medium heat gently saute shrimp in remaining bacon grease and cook until they just start to turn pink. You do not want to overcook the shrimp. Add in all the other ingredients except for the grits and cook for about three minutes longer or until shrimp are done to your liking.
  6. Now you can either plate the grits and add the shrimp mixture on top or you can just take all the shrimp mixture and add it all to the pot of grits and mix gently.

You can absolutely taste the love and work in each bite. Unless you don’t care much or try very hard. In that case, replace those ingredients with a dash of apathy and a 2 tablespoons of severe disgust.

  • The Foreign Legion Years: Life aboard a caravan is never cheese and rice when you’re constantly being hassled by a tribe of dirty Bedouin traders. That was the situation in the early nineties on the silk road, where conflict had risen it’s ugly head between the cities of Kashgar and Aksu, and the local economies were beginning to suffer. As their parents had done a generation before them, village elders called for the Mamou. Because of his influence,  experience, and a reputation for fair play and goodwill, he was brought in to help the villagers adjust to the new plan. Before it was all over, the men who had not converted had their skulls placed on pig poles and decorated with figs and berries by village children. Most of the women were traded for cattle, tobacco and sugar and their children were sent off to work in the gyre.

Stay tuned for Big Mamou’s newest fusion recipe, Camel Soup with Crimini Mushrooms.

INTERMISSION


 The Blue Hole Period: During those turbulent seasons aboard the Gay Clipper, Mamou dealt heavily in the Honduras white slave trade and ran contraband oysters from the Mosquito Coast up to the Yucatan Peninsula, leaving a trail of illegitimate illiterates scattered along the way. Constant territorial conflicts with the surrounding Garifuna pirates resulted in heavy financial losses and the closing of several of his cruise ships. In light of the recent Belize Government scandal, Mamou and his “paramour companion” have been indited along with several high-ranking city officials. Several arrests have been made and a deportation order has been issued by the Belizean Government. At this time of this printing, his whereabouts remain unknown.

Crew rules state the shorts should be worn at arm’s length. Watch those tan lines Captain.

  Ed. note: This recipe has been tweaked over the years by adding a few things and taking a couple away here and there. Please do not dishonor this recipe by using instant grits, fake cheese, or soy/turkey bacon.
“Make the bad man stop”
Visit some recent wook wrangler offerings including Brainquility 2020 Photo Journal.
Stay tuned to nailtravels as we leave for NW String Summit tomorrow and then back to the scene of the crime in Colorado, joining several of our Telluride compatriots and Deadheads from Boulder as we blow the bacon grease out of Lyons at Rockygrass. Don’t be surprised if we wind up at Red Rocks for the Jerry Garcia 75th  birthday show starring all the cool kids. Check it out. Show up. Don’t bail on tour. If Lazlo makes the mistake of showing up at Red Rocks without my money, we might have to throw down on some Seminole leg wrestling.  Stay tuned…
originally published

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Costa Rican Black Bean Dip https://wookwranglers.com/costa-rican-black-bean-dip/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=costa-rican-black-bean-dip Tue, 21 Jan 2020 17:08:25 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=443 Pura Vida! This is a recipe for black bean soup that is made thicker and...

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Pura Vida!

This is a recipe for black bean soup that is made thicker and used as a dip with fried plantains, Costa Rica style. Pantacones con frigoles negros es muy bueno. 

Maybe you don’t know. Perhaps you’ve never smelled the sulfur at Las Poas or heard the rumbling of Volcan Arenal. No? Never driven around Lake Arenal or knocked back from Guaro on the beaches of Playa Tamarindo? Well that needs to change. From Monteverde to Rincon de Vieja fried plantains dipped in black beans is the appetizer typical. It’s Costa Rican Black Bean Dip.

Lurk through a mountain rain forest or surf world-class breaks amidst coconut palms and royal poincianas. Was that the clacking of a toucan and what exactly is a coatimundi?

BLACK BEAN SOUP

Author: Lucienda Rosalita

Recipe type: side

Prep time:  30 mins

Cook time:  30 mins

Total time:  1 hour

INGREDIENTS

  • 2 T Vegetable oil
  • 1 Cup diced white onions
  • 1 Cup celery
  • ½ Diced carrots
  • ½ Cup diced green pepper
  • ½ Cup diced jalapenos
  • 2 T Minced garlic
  • 4 Cans black beans
  • 4 Cups chicken stock
  • 2 T apple cider vinegar
  • 2 t Chili powder
  • ½ t Red pepper
  • ½ t Cumin
  • ½ t Salt
  • ¼ t Hickory liquid smoke

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Heat oil in a large saucepan
  2. Saute vegetables and simmer until soft
  3. Strain beans under cool water
  4. Mix 3 cups of broth with vegetables
  5. Add beans and puree in a blender or food processor
  6. Heat to a boil and then reduce to a simmer

Top this black bean soup with sour cream, Nicaraguan cream sauce, or garlic aioli.

Visit our recipe for Fried Plantains Costa Rican style.

Add or subtract broth depending on how thick you want your black beans. Thinner for soup, thicker for dip. Easy peasy.

Thanks for joining the wook wrangler family. Stay tuned for Ma Roux’s cornbread and Granny’s Homemade Coconut Cake. Keep up as we head south to the Suwannee River to join the “already in progress” Florida festival season.

It only gets better.

 

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Fried Plantains Costa Rican Style https://wookwranglers.com/fried-plantains-costa-rican-style/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fried-plantains-costa-rican-style Tue, 21 Jan 2020 16:21:48 +0000 http://wookwranglers.com/?p=421 Pura Vida! Fried plantains Costa Rican style are also known as pantacones. Each country and...

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Pura Vida!

Fried plantains Costa Rican style are also known as pantacones. Each country and region has it’s own style of preparing plantains, and while each is awesome, this is the superior method. The pantacones are soft on the inside and a little crispy on the outside when you dip them into the black beans. Dios mio. Pay attention, por favor.

MAKING PANTACONES

  • Green Plantains: Find the greenest plantains for pantacones. When making buttery, sugary, plantains, yellow moldy is the word. As the plantain turns yellow, the starch turns to sugar and they get soft and sweet, like me. Unripe plantains can be smooshed but they still hold their shape while frying. Don’t believe me? Just try it.
  • Black Beans: Mushed up black beans is the business. If you like it saucy, top it with some sour cream Nicaraguan cream sauce, or garlic ailoi. Some recipes call for a food processor but I use a hand blender, which can be used to make apple butter, so there you go. Use this black bean recipe when it’s time to roll.
  • Arenal: Consider taking a jaunt to Arenal Volcan in the central highlands of Costa Rica. The lake and the surrounding mountains are home to some of the most scenic regions of the country. While staying in the Epcot of Central America, play on the lake, take a walk with the hummingbirds along a cloud forest trail, or find your way to a restaurant and enjoy some authentic pantacones. You’re in Costa Rica. You can’t lose. It’s almost fancy pants. 

The black bean recipe calls for a ton of vegetables. You might even slather it with Nicaraguan cream sauce. Note the jalapeno peppers. Don’t make the mistake of cooking food without them. I did that once and I am still paying for it everyday. Every single day.

Thickness of your cuts will determine how large your cakes will be. Some recipes soak the plantains in water for some time before cooking. This can help your cakes form into pretty round things. I enjoy the crispy, edges of this recipe.

The nailtravels kitchen used canola oil for this recipe but any type will do. Experiment!

FRIED PLANTAINS COSTA RICAN STYLE

Author: Jason Nail

Recipe type: Appetizer

Cuisine: Spanish

Prep time:  10 mins

Cook time:  10 mins

Total time:  20 mins

INGREDIENTS

  • Green plantains
  • Cooking oil
  • Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Peel unripe plantains and cut into two inch segments. The larger you cut your pieces the bigger your chips will be.
  2. Heat enough oil to cover the bottom of the skillet.
  3. On medium/ high heat cook plantains pieces on both side (about three minutes on each side) don’t let them burn.
  4. Set on wire rack to cool
  5. Put oil on the bottom of a plate. Set a plantain on it. Slather anther plate with oil and push down on the top, crushing the plantain into a cake.
  6. Fry all of the plantains again on both sides to desired crispiness. It’s that easy.
  7. Let cool on wire rack.
  8. Salt to taste.

Cook them for varying amounts of time to decide if you enjoy them soft of with a crunchier texture. Don’t worry about reheating them. They taste fine cold. So do the black beans.

Viola!

Serve with some kind of pretty garnish. I like parsley or cilantro. This is a relatively simple dish to prepare and it gets rave reviews. Pull this off and you’ll be on your way to the cochina suprema.

All work and no play makes John a dull boy.

Visit our other fusion recipes like Nicaraguan Jalapeno Cream Sauce.

 

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