Believers of Elements Music and Arts Festival “23

Ferdy and Lucy headed northeast from North Carolina to Pennsylvania, through the Appalachian Mountains and the Shenandoah Valley. It was raining on the whistle pigs in the high country which was just fine with Ferdy. He believed what the good doctor said; there’s less cops when it rains. And it always feels like there’s less gestapo in the mountains, especially compared to that fire ant, cop picnic known as Florida. He had a Banquet and a bowl in his lap, reminding him of the “one law at a time” rule which he was currently breaking. Even so, they would make their way, without serious incident, to Long Pond, Pennsylvania to locate the believers of Elements Music and Arts Festival August 11-14, 2023. Let’s be real.

It was their first time at Elements and Pocono International Raceway. They met up with The Repairman at the entrance whereby he promptly snatched up their parking pass. They would be forced to follow him in using the Hurt Locker special, “I’m with him” ruse.  They built camp while The Repairman enjoyed a lunch of Spaghettios diluted with ranch dressing, henceforth known as Spaghettos. His clothes in the trunk smelled like they’d been soaked with tiki torch fuel and he was ready to burst into flames at any time. No fumar por favor.

He was a Dollar Tree man tying to make it with a Family Dollar lady. His ex had been a Dollar General kind of girl and it was just a matter of time before that imploded. It was like dating a girl with a Christian radio station bumper sticker on her car. If she believed in God then she could believe in angels. If she believed in saints then she could believe in the nephilim. And if she believed in God, then there’s always the devil. For a non-believer, a relationship like that would promise to be as durable as a flea market lighter leash. No matter how long her legs were, it would be just a matter of time.

The Repairman was always shopping for a hippy girl and luckily found one parked adjacent to Kamp Happiness. She definitely had a dirty cuteness about her but she believed in ghosts and for him that was a definite red flag. He knew from years of experience that someone who believed in ghosts was liable to believe in anything, no matter how ludicrous.

But it was cool. Most people believed in something that not everyone believed in. Like ghosts. Or dragons. Invisible dragons. And invisible ghosts that they could talk to. “Yo bro, you are sitting on my dead mother but don’t worry, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know that was her favorite chair.”

He did not enjoy being expected to believe in invisible shit. Unless it was like gravity. His father had fallen from a ladder once so gravity seemed to make perfect sense. Just ask any rigger. But there were plenty of invisible that that otherwise sensible folks bought into. Like interdimensional beings that only some people could see or communicate with. Yes, apparently they were everywhere.

She was into fortune telling with tarot cards, palm lines, tea leaves, head bumps, Ouija boards, fortune cookies, numerology and playing cards that would tell the future depending on one’s birthday. She also believed in astrology, the power of the zodiac, Venus in retrograde and the rising of Saturn. From where he was standing, she appeared to have a real keen idea about the future.

Or what about aliens flying around in their cookie shaped spaceships? In that regard, she promoted a strange dichotomy. She believed in God but not space exploration by humans. For that matter she didn’t believe in outer space because nothing exists outside of the firmament which rockets routinely smash into and plummet back to the flat earth. Go figure.

He still was willin’. At least she didn’t believe in Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness monster, or yetis or abdominal skunk apes. No telekinesis, telepathy, Chariots of the Gods or The Secret.

The only potential deal-breaker was her voice. As they walked into the venue to catch Ganga White Night her voice sounded like Martha Raye denture wearer as a morning show DJ laughing at her own jokes. The sound of her laugh was so obnoxious it made him not want to be clever. It reminded him of the tearing of an old rag or water going down the drain. Red flags were rapidly turning into deal-breakers.

He met a girl in VIP at Rezz who didn’t believe in climate change or decreased carbon footprints but she did feel it was high time to be concerned about sea water temperature increase. Someone, somewhere had mentioned to her that the Gulf Stream was about to stop pumping. Disconcerting to say the least but at least the Holocine had been a good run.

At some point Ferdy, got turned around in the forest and ended up at the Frick Frack Blackjack table. All he had on his person was a tiny glow-in-the-dark rubber duck so he would have to start small and grow. Lessons from Panajachel. Future Joy was leading the get down on the stage and even lent the saxophone to the Baldfest barber show. This was a perfect place to get lost. The production and art installations offered plenty to enjoy and partake.

Somehow his powdered Pedialyte had mixed in with his Michigan dry wall, yet no one was the wiser. It’s good to work with professionals for a change. As it rained Saturday night they all huddled close together and spaced out to the primordial on old Soundtribe.

They lost Greggorio sometime around Doom Flamingo. He believed in something called electroculture which was definitely a concept one couldn’t see but his kale was growing so fast the evidence was apparently clear. Something about grabbing loose electrons from the air??? Sciency to be sure.

Ferdy believed in the power of the festival and what he could learn from it. He’d reached a point where he looked forward to working them and got reasonably bored when he wasn’t. All of his friends worked festivals so the evolution of the species was apparent. Real love, real work, real fun.

Thank you to Elements Music and Arts Festival for inviting the wranglers to join the maze and thanks to the photographers who contributed to this article. Keep up with Kamp Happiness as they head back to the high country for Front Porch Fest then it’s back at Legend Valley for Lost Lands. October takes care of itself with Major Malfunktion and the turn back south to Live Oak and the 10th Anniversary of Hulaween. So that’s happening.