Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain ’21: Year of the Goat

Lucy and Falkenburg left Chillicothe at sunrise. Their clothes had been laundered and the Oldsmowagon had been literally stuffed with Summer Camp groundscores. The phone and the car were still working so Plan A was still in effect. They also both carried a mild case of the wook flu bacterium and were coughing up dust and fun from three weeks in Illinois. It was an eight hour drive to Mulberry Mountain and they were looking for a toned-down party where they could relax and heal thyselves.                      What they found was another story altogether.

Twas a party complete with glittery Kansas City thugs, non-stop genre crossing music, no-named goats and dick milk. This would be round the clock fun and rest and relaxation would not be allies for the foreseeable future. This was a sideways elevator if there ever was one and once again, it was time to lace up and get back into the fray. Welcome to Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain ’21: Year of the Goat.

Mulberry Mountain is a 650 acre Lodging and Event resort located in the heart of Arkansas’s Ozark National Forest along Hwy 23, the Pig Trail National Scenic Byway. Set above the Mulberry River Valley, this beautiful spot in the Arkansas Ozark Mountains offers lodge and cabin Rentals, RV & Tent Campground, Convention & Reception Hall, Amphitheater, and a variety of exciting festivals throughout the year. Anoint yourselves with perfumes and lotions. This is going to get hairy.

Welcome to the ego death. Don’t worry, you won’t miss it. This is Mulberry Mountain and these folks are not joshing.

Lotus Thursday:  New neighbors, that’s usually the way it works. It wasn’t long before Kamp Happniness was doing the “tent tickle” with their neighbors from Kansas City. These were serious thugs to be sure. Folks who’d spent hard time on the mountain and from countless earlier shows, carried memories from every corner of the field and forest. It was immediately evident they were going to make all the things better.

Within thirty minutes of arrival Matt had lost his wristband which had been hanging off with loose impudence. He stumbled off into the darkness disappearing for the better part of the evening only to return with a new wristband. Colorful and innovative. Ryan laid to creating a witch’s brew known as “short mountain tea” or “mangrita” complete with Everclear and fruit juices. Only after he’d completed it did he commence to drop his phone deep within the icy elixir. Short mountain tea, from then known as “the phone killer”. That kind of immediate comedy cannot be invented by the soggy mind.

Don’t miss the late show on the secret stage: Soft R and the Soggy Girlfriends featuring the Denominator.

“808s and Paper Plates”

Later the squad found their way to Andy Frasco and Sunsquabi before the Lotus marathon. Come to find there is a strategy to ending up with a set list. Connect with one of the musicians. Stick around after the show. Ask nicely. They say this is what it takes to end up with a Papadosio set list. Who knew?

Friday: Sometime during the ATLIENS set Matt began screaming “No means yes. Yes means anal!” until promptly being tackled and hog tied by security. Kamp Happiness procured his release by pleading insanity and citing several relevant cases from Kansas City clerk of courts.

No athiest in foxholes: Lucy knew once she got to the Ganga White Knight set she was in for something special. Having never seen that show live, the production, including the lights, animation and pulsing booming base that climbed right up into Lucy’s butthole was certainly a bit of the other.

Thanks to the art mopper who kept the road through the vending area “clean” and fresh with water art. You don’t see that kind of hustle everyday. It takes all kinds to make a festival. What are you bringing?

Late night became a stumbling adventure through the sparkling night and the campground field to the Peanutbutter Williams set. Slinky dancers, jugglers and performers of every measure found their way dancing to the pulsing base and flashing animation. The walk back to their perch in the field was under a night sky filled with the bright streak of Orion’s belt. So suave.

The late stage was set up catty corner to Mike and his savage band of Green Team animals. Always the first ones to arrive and the last ones to leave. The core of this Green Team was uniquely hard working group. Thank you Green Team.

While making breakfast burritos Ryan got jalapeno juice on his hands and commenced to rub his pee pee. Matt had been using a loaf of bread as a pillow and as he woke up he found Ryan with his penis “deep” in the milk. “Don’t anyone drink out the jug, ever!” he screamed at the unusual spectacle.. Ryan shot back, “I can’t go see Spafford with my dick on fire!” The math checks out.

The goat with no name: There is some stink in Arkansas. It’s goat stink and once you get it on you, it won’t come off. Thank goodness for tennis balls. The goat with no name bounced and played in the field like a Chihuahua. It looked fun but Kaitlyn knew better than to get involved. She knew the stink didn’t come off.

It was Sunday and they had to outrun the hangover and the crash which would eventually come. Doses and mimosas for the Sunday brunch menu, and why not? Strangers were beginning to come together like Portuguese man-o-wars rolled together by the waves.

Sunday and Gambling for Souls: Most of the day was spent hiding from the sun, playing loud music and speaking in the ancient tongues reserved for Sundays when the ego crumples and is close to gone.

“Do you have any souls?” Falkenburg asked Phoenix the Frick Frack Blackjack dealer. With no soul to trade he laid out some of his gem necklaces. “It’s a soul for a soul sir”, the dealer said with no trace of frivolity. How old will you be on your next birthday?” Falkenburg replied, “It’s going to be a big one, the big five-0”. “Well that will do just fine”, the dealer responded. Gambling is an addiction and there’s no reason to lose on a nineteen but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Falkenburg knew he wasn’t going to celebrate his fiftieth birthday but there might still be a chance to win that soul at Hulaween. If you don’t get help at Charter, get help somewhere.

Sunday night closed out with a dazzling show from Clozzee. Greensky Bluegrass and the Floozies. Never miss a Sunday show. In this case it was a serious non-negotiable.

Greensky Bluegrass is “Workin’ on a Building”.

When your Earthly shed blows down it doesn’t matter. We’re working on something more important.

Greensky Bluegrass into the Floozies? For some folks like the wranglers that’s one hell of a Sunday night and there is no method to the madness at Backwoods. Climb on board, the train is leaving. Find your way into a new genre of music. There’s so much to devour and this festival brought a little bit of everything. It makes for fun camping when bluegrass folks get parked next door to Clozzee fans. Why not? These people came to get all the way down and there would be no stopping this party until the tolling bell rang. Mission accomplished.

What you know about having a party?

Thanks to Will and the Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain crew for letting us be involved. It was f’sho slap yo mama good. Perfect weather, friendly people, mind-blowing loud rock and all the silly fun. Visit the Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain website and follow their social media sites on Facebook and Instagram. See you next year.

Keep up with the wranglers as we tackle North Carolina and the close of the Summer Mountain Festival Lyme Disease Tour with Blue Bear and Merlefest. Then it’s back east for Resonance and Rooster Reunion before heading back down to the sunshine state for all it’s fall perfection. Thanks for using the wranglers and Kamp Happiness for all your festivarian gibberish. Namaste y’all.

Believe what you want.