Suwannee Rising Memories: Virtual Festival Scrapbook

At present most of the summer festival season has been canceled.

What’s a wook to do?

All the freaks at Okeechobee got one in at the last minute. Spring Reunion and Rising would be cancelled soon after. A small concession of festivarians still made the trek to Live Oak to enjoy one last weekend in the forest. Hobbies like camping, hiking and fishing still seemed like some of the best ways to self-isolate.

It wouldn’t be long before Disney World and Disneyland closed, then the Price Is Right cancelled its shows. Things had obviously gotten serious. Next the kids got out of school and they shut down all the restaurants and bars. Hmmm. The bartenders are out of work but the pork packaging plant is hiring…

The festivals were all cancelled or postponed. Each festy hound, each wook queen, every merchant to the drummer and lighting guy had to let that slowly sink in. Sure, the basketball tournament was cancelled and then just about every other sporting event.

But the festivals? That’s striking some folks real close to home. Like so many other, this is what the wook wranglers do. It’s fun and work. Sometimes it’s two or more festivals a month and during spring and summer there are multiple festivals around the country each weekend. Some folks hardly ever stop.

So this is the new idea. Sharing across the etherweb is what’s happening for a minute. Welcome to Suwannee Rising Memories: Virtual Festival Scrapbook.

Where were all the police?

The interstate still showed plenty of cars, semis and recreational vehicles. But no cops. At least not the usual swarms. Even in Georgia, a state widely know for using drones and robot tanks in advanced speed traps was strangely calm.

Welcome to Kamp Happiness? What pairs well with bleach? Have a quarantini. Bleach, vodka and peach juice. They said the Corona virus couldn’t stand up to moonshine. Possible ways to strengthen the immune system? Walk barefoot, drink moonshine, communal showers, bat quano…It was going to take some hard science to find a vacine.

Rising Up!

They were celebrating the life of the Roanoke Mafioso and sometime late night poured his ashes in the lake. In another ancient Mayan ritual, his remains were ingested along with mushrooms and corn whiskey. This was the old way and would not be seen again. In perfect Wanee tradition, neighboring camps came together and formed supercamps of degenerate party slugs. At some point as is want to do, things devolved into a perfectly out-of-hand camping experience. Most of the details would forever be lost to the forest. Thank ye gods.

As a result of the virus most people are stuck at home. This is leaving a large space in the common festivarian’s summer experience. Follow these simple tips and you can get that same festival experience in the comfort of your own home. That’s right.

Ways You Can Reproduce the Festival Experience At Home:

• Using a wet towel as a pillow, sleep halfway under your vehicle.
• Feed the Chihuahua chicken bones and marshmallows.
• Wake up and throw a handful of glitter in your face.

• Add two parts dirt and ashes to your morning coffee.
• Play loud music from your vehicle until the battery completely dies.
• Gather wood. Build a fire. Sit next to it and listen to “Morning Dew” while yelling at people to find more firewood.
• Take a cold shower at four in the morning using only ladies conditioner. (For Lockn’ only: Tear a ten dollar bill in half)

• Have someone else hide your phone and one of your shoes.
• Pour water down the sound hole of your guitar and step on the neck.
• Treat yosef to a breakfast of cold Spaghettios.
• Gobble down a “heroic” dose and sit in a Port-o-john for twenty minutes staring at your fingers.

• Wake up to a Bloody Mary.
• Stay awake for three days on nothing but tranquilizers and nitrous oxide.
• Eat edibles before going to bed and wake up soapy to more edibles.
• Pick a different neighbor each day and go borrow something.
• Pick a different neighbor each day and take them rice crispy treats.

• Listen to Billy Strings into J Rad into the Floozies. (for only the funkiest festivals)
• Drink three cases of PBR or Natties (or were you doing that already?)
• Throw up on a tree.
• Put lawn chairs by the street and using a megaphone yell at joggers as they pass.

So most folks are stuck at home. Even people that still work are likely to head straight home when it’s time. Hell, the bars are even closed. What else is there to do? The beaches are closed but not the launches.  For the festivarians it’s all the same. The feet are all clean. The hair is washed. Everyone’s playing music and sharing it on Facebook. The dogs are super happy. It seems they appreciate quarantine more than anyone.

It’s a perfect time to make some bracelets or wraps. Jade is sewing handwarmers and Sunnie is making candles. Here in high country the neighbors have been working on homemade explosives and we are sewing faces on dead cats. It’s all in good fun. It’s the perfect moment to focus on existing passions and hobbies and find some new ones. It’s a transcendent time and one that need not be wasted. Now get in the kitchen and make some tikka masala with jasmine rice.

Thanks to everyone who contributed photographs for this article. They each tell part of an amazing story. One of new friends blending into old ones and sharing in a spirit of love and fun. Festival photographs often tell similar stories and the canvas of Live Oak provides a perfect backdrop for all of these. Stay with the wranglers as we continue through the festival season with more virtual scrapbooks. Installation Station 20.

Thanks to Kamp Happiness, the Buttscratchers and all other versions of the ludicrous incarnate. It was the year of the Death Clown and Oteil. Hobo Kamps everywhere providing for all, wanting for nothing. This festival was born from the need to fill the space once occupied by Wanee, a party that was as good as anything anywhere. With great line-ups and ridiculously heady vibes it’s essence and feel were surely celebrated at Suwannee Rising.

By this time many of the Suwannee Rising camps had become detailed and homey. They had arrived two weeks earlier for Spring Reunion and had stuck around and built what the deputies would call “hobo kamps”. Drying lederhosen could be found hanging next to dyed tapestries. Things usually start to go south as soon as these types of campers get comfortable. Like a group of Bedouin traders, it’s best when they’re on the move. Best to walk before they make you run.

Don’t look at it Marion! The average wook goes to four to seven festivals a year. During the summer months the weekends begin running into each other in a haze of balloons and bubbles. For a devout festivarian the next party is usually only a couple of weeks away. Sometimes not that long. The energy and spirit that can be found at the festival gives back to everyone. Some folks just want or need more of it. There is no substitute for parties like Suwannee Rising. This church needs to be open. See you next year.

For online shopping support our friends at A Bazaar Universe and Mi Kulture.